Avery who was sitting in her bedroom doing schoolwork chewed on her lip hard, doing her best to concentrate though she was having trouble. Her mind constantly going to the double date she had tonight. A date she knew she didn’t want and one she was sure she’d never get out of.
Though she really wanted to get out of it. The party with her friends sounding more appealing as she thought of it, even if she wasn’t much of a party person at all.
But if it got her out of her date then she’d go and have the time of her life. Sadly Avery knew it wouldn’t work because she’d never get out of this date, the fear of making Jessica upset enough to make her scared to even try. She knew what Jessica was like upset and there was no way she wanted to make her mad.
It felt at times that maybe Jessica could be worse than her mom but it was more than likely learned behavior. Learned from doing everything she did for her brothers and sometimes Avery wished she were a better sister and did more at 3CG but it just wasn’t something that appealed to her.
It was rather boring and she was sure if she had to be near her brothers twenty-four seven that she’d go crazy because while she loved them they all three got on her nerves, especially Isaac who at times just seemed too overbearing in being a big brother.
Almost like he wanted to be their dad too as well as their brother and Avery already had one dad, she didn’t need another one in Isaac.
Then again maybe it was just because her and Isaac were both Scorpio’s that they clashed so easily personality wise, while she tended to get on better with Taylor and Zac but Taylor at times was just a mystery to her. With his ever growing family and his sketchy hipster friends in California and other places.
So maybe that was why she found it easier to turn to Zac but even now that seemed impossible to do and there was just no way she could tell Zoe or Mac her problems. They were both too young to understand and give good insight.
In the end Avery was truly alone or so it felt like it and she’d just suffer through her date and the rest of her life feeling trapped and like one day her family would find out that maybe she wasn’t entirely straight and they’d all just disown her.
“Knock knock,” an entirely to chipper voice sounded from Avery’s door, bringing her out of her thoughts and she smiled softly when she saw Juniper standing in her doorway. “I come bearing coffee,” she smiled holding two Starbucks drinks in her hand. “I know you can never turn down coffee regardless of the time.”
“You have that right,” Avery laughed as she closed her schoolbook, giving up on her work for right now. It was all useless anyway when her mind wasn’t all there. “Surprised you aren’t in classes though.”
Juniper shrugged as she walked into Avery’s room, the door shutting behind her. “Friday’s are the day I have classes late,” she smiled as she sat on Avery’s bed, handing one of the cups to her and Avery took it almost gratefully as if it was a lifesaver.
“So what did I do to have the honor of seeing your presence today?” Avery questioned though a part of her had a feeling exactly what she had done and she was about to dread the conversation to come.
“You lied to your mom the other day and said you were at my place,” Juniper answered confirming what Avery suspected.
Taking a drink of her coffee to delay from the conversation, Avery winced as it burned her tongue some but maybe in some weird way she deserved it. Deserved all the pain from the secrets and lies that she was keeping from everyone.
Lies that were slowly but surely suffocating her.
“I did,” Avery nodded her head. “I already got in trouble with her for that.”
“So then why did you do it?” Juniper inquired after taking a sip of her own coffee. “Why lie about where you went and where exactly did you go?”
Chewing on her lip, Avery looked down at her coffee cup almost wishing she was invisible or could hide right now. There was no way she could be honest even if she knew some honesty would be good right now.
“Because I knew my mom wouldn’t like where I did go,” Avery finally spoke up before taking another drink of her coffee which again burned her tongue. “I was hanging out with someone who I’m sort of messing around with and they aren’t Jeremy.”
When Avery looked back up at Juniper the look on the blonde’s face was almost comical. Her eyes all big and wide like she couldn’t believe what Avery had said and maybe she couldn’t. Avery was by most standards someone who others considered sweet and maybe at times easily manipulated by people who were close to her.
“You’re cheating on Jeremy already?” Juniper asked clear shock in her tone. “Really Ave?”
Avery nodded her head again this time more sheepishly than before. “Yeah I’m cheating on Jeremy already. I know I’m a horrible girlfriend but I didn’t feel anything when he kissed me on our first date.”
Juniper fell silent after Avery’s admission. A silence that created a weird sort of tension in Avery’s room, one in which Avery didn’t like but also one she had brought on herself.
Avery could at least admit that. That she had brought on the tension by admitting to the fact that she had cheated on Jeremy. A boy who was a long time family friend and was close to Mac. Though Juniper nor Cordelia liked him for a ton of reasons.
“I can’t say I’m surprised really,” Juniper stated as she shook her head. “I mean I told you just last Saturday that you liked people who make you comfortable. People like Jeremy so of course you’d feel nothing when he kissed you. That and I also still think you’re a lesbian.”
Forcing a laugh Avery took another drink of her coffee, “I’m not a lesbian,” she denied though the words almost made her throat burn to say just like the coffee had made her tongue burn.
Which Avery was sure why the words made her throat burn. She knew that maybe she was a lesbian or maybe she was just bisexual.
“You’re so a lesbian Avery,” Juniper smirked with a tiny wink. “But tell me about the guy you’re cheating on Jeremy with?”
Avery rolled her eyes at Juniper but felt a whole bundle of nerves form in her stomach at her friend’s next question. “He’s someone I met recently. A bit older than me..he’ll be twenty-one soon,” she shrugged after seeing the judging look that Juniper was giving her. “He gets me probably better than I get myself and he makes me feel like my skin is on fire every time we’re together and he touches me. I’m pretty sure I could get lost in his blue eyes too especially when they look almost green after we’ve gotten done having sex,” she blushed at that admission but it was true.
Avery had noticed that last night about Paisley after Paisley had went down on her a second time last night. That after they had gotten done and were cuddling that Paisley’s eyes almost looked green and that she could get lost in how they had changed colors easily.
“He takes amazing photos, they are all around his room and I kind of maybe want to be his muse someday. He’s already mine even if I haven’t drawn him yet,” she admitted feeling her voice going all soft once a realization hit her. “God I sound like such a lovesick idiot.”
Juniper laughed as she reached her hand out and let it rest on Avery’s back, “Yeah, you kind of do which means you should probably end this relationship with Jeremy before you really hurt him.”
“I know,” Avery stated feeling guilty. “But it’s complicated. I can’t hurt him because he’s a good guy and he seems to really love me, though I know cheating on him is going to hurt him too if he finds out.”
“No kidding,” Juniper sighed before rubbing Avery’s back.
Avery closed her eyes tightly though she did like the comfort Juniper was giving her, “I’ll do it in March after I go with my brothers to Austin to help watch the babies while they perform at SXSW,” she spoke knowing the trip had been planned for months now just like Avery going to help had been planned.
Even though their whole family minus Kate who had decided to stay in Tulsa thanks to being pregnant had decided to tag along just last month. Mainly so they could see some family friends who lived in Texas and Jeremy now too was slated to go.
Something that they had decided on when they had changed their relationship to boyfriend and girlfriend status. It was agreed upon that somehow during that weekend they’d have sex and lose their virginity to each other and maybe Avery selfishly wanted that before breaking Jeremy’s heart.
Just to see if she felt anything while having sex with him. Just to know if she could like anything to do with men because maybe it was just kissing with Jeremy.
Even if she had realized that she now had feelings for Paisley….feelings that weren’t platonic at all.
“Good luck then,” Juniper told her before standing from her bed. “Now I have to go and get to my classes. Then I’m going to enjoy the weekend by going out to party with Calliope and some other friends,” she smiled and Avery had to bite her tongue from admitting that she knew the other friends were Paisley and Cordelia.
“A party?” Avery questioned playing dumb as Juniper walked to her bedroom door.
“Just going to some themed dance party at that gay club downtown,” Juniper answered with a smile. “Figured you wouldn’t like it since you don’t do parties. Got be the good girl even if you are cheating on your boyfriend.”
Avery nodded her head again feeling guilty as Juniper reminded her of her cheating. “Yeah, yeah,” she stated before watching Juniper open the door and the moment the door was open Juniper paused seeing Zoe standing at Avery’s door.
“Oh hey Zo-bug,” Juniper stated with a sweet tone because somehow Juniper loved Zoe. Probably because Zoe and her bonded over fashion. “Almost didn’t see you standing there,” she said before moving and heading away leaving just Zoe and Avery alone and once they were Avery gave Zoe a death glare.
“How long were you standing there you little menace?” Avery asked as she put her half empty coffee cup on her nightstand before standing. “Because I know you, you were probably eavesdropping.”
Zoe gave Avery an innocent look as she batted her eyelashes, “I wasn’t eavesdropping,” she spoke but Avery had a feeling she was lying. “I was just sent by Jessie to remind you that you need to be getting ready for your date soon,” she explained with a smile on her face still trying to act innocent.
Though Avery still felt she was lying.
“Yeah well you told me now leave,” Avery said clearly annoyed as she shut the door on Zoe. A part of her not wanting to get ready for the date but knowing she had too.
Even if she was dreading it and even if her schoolwork wasn’t done yet. She’d just have to finish her schoolwork tomorrow.