July 2008
Waking the next morning in a bed Avery opened her eyes fast as she looked around her surroundings. She was in a bed in a tiny room and when she slowly turned over, her eyes grew a bit wider as she saw Ethan sleeping beside her.
Her mind slowly replaying the events of last night. How she had came to his apartment and had sex with him while being pushed against a wall and then after they had smoked a joint, talked about the sex over take out pizza and proceeded to head to the bedroom where they had once again had sex.
Just so Avery could be positive in her thoughts on sex with men. Something that she was now sure hadn’t changed after the first time.
Sex with men just wasn’t as good as it was with women and she’d like to never experience it again. Not even if she were the last female on earth and the only way to populate again would be to have sex with a man.
She’d just let creation slowly die off and now as she slowly sat up in bed maybe she hated herself some too. Hated that she even wanted to try having sex with a man. Knowing she had only really even tried just as a way to get her mind off the girl who had hurt her.
Forget for a few hours that Paisley had existed and while that had worked well now she had the present and she couldn’t go her whole life just fucking Paisley away.
Even if that seemed like a nice option.
No she just had to pick herself up and try moving on the best she could and the only way she knew to do that was through her friends and maybe her art. Almost having her mind made up on buying some canvases and paints before heading to her friend’s apartment today.
But first she needed to shower and head back to her hotel. Get her stuff and maybe get a quick breakfast.
Biting her lip Avery slowly sat up and did her best to slip out of the bed without waking Ethan up. Something that was unsuccessful when she heard someone clear their throat from behind her as she walked towards the bedroom door to go and get her clothes which were still in the living room.
“Where you going to runaway on me Avie?” Ethan asked his voice rough from sleep. “That isn’t very nice.”
Avery bit her lip harder as she turned to face Ethan, a blush on her cheeks, “I wasn’t running per say. I was just going to get my clothes and take a quick shower before running,” she clarified as her blush grew.
“So you were running,” Ethan spoke sounding amused as he sat up in bed pushing the thin sheet off him and just sitting in the bed naked as if it was nothing.
Then again Avery was standing in his room naked as if it was nothing either and it was nothing. The sex was good but not fantastic and she had no romantic feelings for Ethan.
“I was running,” Avery confessed as she buried her head in her hands for a few seconds. “I’m awful aren’t I?”
Ethan laughed loudly at that, “Not awful but you could have at least left me a note. Maybe wouldn’t have bruised my ego too badly.”
“I’m sorry,” Avery apologized as she gave him an apologetic smile. “It’s just the second round of sex didn’t really change my opinion. Having sex with women is still way better. Like out of this world better.”
“Then I think you found the answer you were looking for my darling Avery,” Ethan told her as he stood from the bed and stretched. “You’re a lesbian and not bisexual or just someone who likes sex with people. You like sex with women,” he smirked as he walked to where she was standing. “Now go shower and I’ll make you breakfast. Then you can run and never have to see me again.”
Nodding her head Avery finally turned to leave the bedroom, Ethan falling in step behind her and once she made it to the living room to get her clothes he went into the kitchen to start on breakfast.
Though after she had her clothes and before she went to the bathroom Avery paused as she looked at Ethan, “You know I don’t think I never want to see you again. I mean I’d like us to be friends maybe,” she told him honestly.
Knowing that even if she never wanted to have sex with him again she was intrigued by him.
“I think we can do that,” Ethan replied back and he seemed genuine when he said that. “We’ll just never tell anyone we had sex.”
“Deal,” Avery laughed softly before finally turning and heading to the bathroom to take a quick shower. Hoping that when she got done he had breakfast ready because she was hungry again.
Needed the food to give her energy to make it back to her hotel in one piece as well as coffee so she hoped he made coffee. That he drank it or at least kept it on hand like Paisley did.
After arriving back to her hotel room, Avery let herself inside before going to the bed where she sat down and the moment she did she hated herself for breaking down crying.
All the pent up shame and guilt hitting her. Not just guilt that she had sex with a man but just guilt that she had sex with someone who wasn’t Paisley because it seemed her heart still hadn’t gotten the memo that they were broken up.
That Paisley had cheated and broken what she told Avery she’d never do. A fact that made Avery see red again.
A new shade of red a darker red that Avery didn’t even know existed. A red that burned so fucking bright and made her cry even harder as she put her head in her hands again. Knowing if she could she’d probably spend all day in the room crying.
But of course she couldn’t, she had to leave and get to her friends apartment.
Sighing softly Avery moved her head from her hands as she wiped fiercely at her eyes before getting her cell phone out and dialing a familiar number. A number she knew she shouldn’t call but one she couldn’t stop herself from calling nonetheless.
Though she wasn’t surprised when after the fifth ring she was greeted with a voicemail message she knew well.
“Hello you’ve reached Paisley and if you’ve reached this message there is really only one of two options of why I haven’t answered you. I’m either ignoring you or busy fucking my girlfriend,” her voice spoke and after the last words Avery frowned as she could hear herself laughing in the background because of course she had been there when Paisley had recorded it. “If you’d be so kind as to leave me a message at the beep.”
Waiting for the beep Avery heaved a tiny sigh before speaking, “I’m not sure why I’m calling. I guess I just wanted to tell you that I had sex with someone else finally. I finally fucked someone else days after you fucked things up with us and I hate you for that. I hate that because of you I have to find someone else now and I have to move on and I hate you. I hate that even as much as I hate you I also love you and just fuck you Paisley,” she sighed before hanging up the phone.
Throwing it down on the bed before standing to get her things together to leave for her friends.
Being midway through doing that when she heard her phone vibrate and maybe she ran for it too fast, hoping to see Paisley’s name but instead she was greeted with a text from Cordelia.
The one friend who she had been ignoring since her breakup because she knew once she told Cordelia that she’d just rub it in. That she had been right in not liking Paisley and that she’d tell Avery she should have seen it coming.
That in the end she should have just gave Cordelia the chance, then she wouldn’t be hurting and feeling like she was dying slowly.
Opening the message she frowned seeing Cordelia’s question.
How are you?
Awful…long story. You?
Same. Long story as well wanna tell me about it?
Paisley and I broke up. She cheated on me with Ellery. Guess I can make it simple for you. You?
Jane dumped me because she’s convinced I still love you. We’re in the same boat it seems, heartbroken over girls.
The universe hates us.
It does but maybe we can make each other feel better and kick the universe’s ass.
Avery laughed at that last text before sending another.
How do you propose we do that Cordy?
Skype each other and talk face to face like actual best friends. I haven’t seen your actual face since June and I miss ya.
I can do that. Are you free tonight? I’ll be at Holly’s but I should be able to skype. Holly has a night time shift at the bar where she works.
I am free and Holly? Didn’t you stay with her sister Hannah when you were in California?
I did but Holly insisted if I were coming to New York for the whole month I was staying with her. Anyway she wants me to meet her girlfriend Sadie. She thinks I’ll like her because she is into art as well and teaches art at a local art center here in New York not far from where they live.
I always forgot Holly was the gay Mitchell sister or maybe I just don’t care enough since I never liked them and only really hung out with them through you.
Haha…Talk to you tonight Cordelia.
Talk to you tonight Avery.
Sitting on the bed in Holly and Sadie’s guest room Avery crinkled her face as she looked at Cordelia who had told her she looked cute in her pajamas with her hair thrown up into a messy ponytail.
“You know,” Avery told her as she took a sip from the glass of water she had poured herself before getting comfortable for her skype session with Cordelia. “Maybe Jane was right and you are still in love with me.”
Cordelia rolled her eyes at that though her silence told Avery everything she needed to know. Despite dating someone else for a few months she still had feelings for Avery and Avery wished she had feelings for Cordelia, knowing at least Cordelia wouldn’t hurt her the way Paisley had.
“I wish I had feelings for you still,” Avery confessed admitting her thoughts out loud. “I should have just listened to you and my mom when it came to Pai. You were both right and in the end you would have been the better option for me. You wouldn’t have broken my heart.”
“Oh Ave but there is beauty in learning from the mistakes,” Cordelia spoke and Avery hated to admit she had a point just like she hated Cordelia calling Paisley a mistake. “You’ve learned better now though hopefully and that’s all that matters.”
Nodding her head Avery sighed, “I guess I have,” she spoke not sure if she had because if she had learned would she still be in love?
“Well if you haven’t you have me here to remind you for as long as you need me Avie,” Cordelia grinned and Avery couldn’t help but smile in response.
Cordelia’s grin just being so big and lively.
“As long as I need you?” Avery asked with a raised eyebrow. “So we could skype every night that I need you?”
Cordelia grinned more as if she liked the idea, “Every night Avie. I’m your best friend and I’m here for you.”
“Well it might just be every night then,” Avery told her knowing it was probably selfish and probably took time out of Cordelia’s day but Avery felt like being selfish and it was better than just fucking people to forget what had happened and that she still loved Paisley.