September 2010
Biting her lip as she leaned against the front of Paisley’s car hours later, Avery turned to the girl standing beside her. “You didn’t have to take me to an art show,” she told her with a tiny smile. “Paintings and shit like that has never been your thing,” she teased knowing photography was more Paisley’s forte.
Which was why Paisley had been uncomfortable tonight at the art show. Something Avery had been able to read from her body language alone. The way she seemed to close in on herself.
At the same time Avery found it endearing that she had done that for her. Got out of her comfort zone.
“You couldn’t have said that before hand?” Paisley teased right back. “Like when I mentioned it in text yesterday.”
“I wanted to see if you’d really follow through,” Avery shrugged her shoulders as her smile grew. “But at least I suggested leaving early and just riding around,” she said coming to her own defense. “I didn’t expect you’d drive us all the way up to this hill that overlooks the city though,” she added on as she just took in the view.
It was a nice view and the music that was coming through the open doors of Paisley’s car wasn’t too bad either setting wise.
Avery swore it could have been romantic but that would mean acknowledging the possibility of all the lines being crossed tonight.
Right now she could still call this night just two friends hanging out.
Now it was Paisley who shrugged her shoulders, “I like to come here and think,” she said softly before looking away from Avery. Looking out at the lit up city below them.
“It’s a nice place for that,” Avery said knowing it was probably a place she could come too as well. Except she liked Starbucks better even if it was crowded and not silent.
Starbucks was where she got ideas for most of her newest paintings nowadays it seemed. That and it was easier to go there and people watch. Maybe sketch a few of the people she watched.
“You come here often?” Avery asked as Paisley stayed silent.
“I didn’t at first but now that the wedding is getting closer I do,” Paisley revealed and Avery hated the way her heart hurt when Paisley casually mentioned her upcoming wedding. “Everything is so different than how I’d picture it would be in the days and weeks leading up to it all.”
Doing her best to try to swallow a lump that had somehow built in her throat Avery moved just a bit closer to Paisley. “Isn’t that how life is for everyone though?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. “It never plays out like how we imagine it will when we’re still young and naive. Not everyone winds up with their first love,” she sighed knowing she was referring to herself more than Paisley.
Paisley had been her first love and now she was marrying Sloan.
“Thank god for that because I never saw myself marrying Ellery,” Paisley laughed as she looked back at Avery and Avery only rolled her eyes as she thought of the redhead who she had once thought Paisley had cheated with. Though in the end it had all been a lie just to push Avery away.
The reason why they had broken up and the reason why they weren’t together now. They could have been though if Avery had just chosen her instead of Cordelia.
“Yeah, I think you dodged a bullet there,” Avery agreed teasingly as she ran a hand through her hair.
“I saw myself marrying you though,” Paisley admitted, her words making Avery feel like she had stopped breathing for a bit. “I saw that life you used to imagine back then too, you know. I never talked about it much but I could see us in an apartment together with a dog and a baby.”
Looking down Avery let her hands go down to the hem of her dress, needing a distraction as she once again swallowed around the lump that refused to leave her throat.
“I bought you a ring too, how fucking silly was that, right?” Paisley asked with a bitter laugh. “You were only seventeen and I bought a ring to give you in hopes that you would spend the rest of your life with me.”
“When did you buy me a ring?” Avery asked curiously as her mind went back to that summer when they had traveled together. “Because last I remember you seemed to be anti rings showing commitment and wanted tattoo’s. It’s why I have a tattoo on my hip bone,” she spoke as she kept playing with the hem of her dress.
Refusing to even look up at Paisley even as she talked. Was afraid if she did every wall she was keeping up would crumble and the foundation of them was already shaky.
“Before that even,” Paisley said softly like she was revealing a big secret. “The day after I told you I loved you. I went and bought the ring along with that necklace. I…I was keeping the ring because I at least wanted to wait until you were eighteen and hell I didn’t even know for sure how gone for me you were…I didn’t know until our trip and then once I knew I was so certain I’d be around to give you that ring once you turned eighteen.”
Chewing on her lip Avery couldn’t stop the frown that made itself a home on her lips. “What did you do with the ring?” she asked softly almost afraid to know the answer.
Almost expected to hear that she had trashed it. Avery would deserve it after everything.
“It’s in some storage unit in New York with all the stuff I had to put away before moving here to Los Angeles with Sloan,” Paisley answered and her answer surprised Avery. “Thought about pawning it once, even went to the pawn shop but then I thought what if I see you again one day and what if I get that chance to put the ring on your finger. I met a Sloan two days after that and the rest is history.”
Avery had to bite her tongue at that last bit of what Paisley said because was everything really history? They were standing side by side leaning against Paisley’s car in Los Angeles for god sake.
Instead Avery bit those words back.
“I would have said yes,” she said instead finally looking up at Paisley. “If you had ever got the chance to ask me I would have said yes.”
“Even when I was standing in your parents driveway the day you were packing to move out here?” Paisley asked with just a hint of bitterness in her voice. “Because if you had chose me I would have dropped down on my knee then and there. Especially there just to piss your mom off.”
Laughing Avery closed her eyes briefly, “If Jim hadn’t came out when he did I would have chosen you,” she admitted knowing she had told Paisley as such back in July but she was saying it again. “I should have chosen you in the end.”
“But you didn’t,” Paisley sighed wistfully. “You chose her for whatever dumb reasons you had back then.”
“Touche,” Avery muttered out as her frown only grew. “I’m sorry for that though. That’s all I can say now though Pai. It’s not like I have a time machine and can go back and fix it. Trust me if I did I would,” she told her knowing she truly would.
Sadly she couldn’t.
“I know, I just…fuck it you broke my heart Avery,” Paisley said with such a brutal honesty that Avery was sure her own heart was breaking. “You broke my heart and now that future I once saw is gone even if some days I can still see it. I can still see you as my wife, raising a baby and a dog with me.”
Avery fell silent at that because she knew as messed up as it was she could see that too. It was something that had never faded from her head. Not even when she was stuck in a dead relationship with Cordelia.
“I can see it too still,” Avery told her after a bit. The mood between them having shifted some or maybe she was just imagining things.
Anything was possible it seemed.
As she caught Paisley’s eyes Avery knew then it wasn’t just her who felt the mood shift between them. Paisley had felt it too which was why Avery just stood there as Paisley leaned in, her lips soon finding themselves against Avery’s own.
Avery responding to the kiss before she could even second guess what was happening. Before she had a chance to tell herself it was wrong because Paisley was engaged to be married in two months.
Letting her eyes fall shut, Avery deepened the kiss moving closer into Paisley. Her mouth falling open as Paisley’s tongue found its way into her mouth at the same time as her arms wound up around Avery’s waist.
The kiss between them getting more heated then. Their tongues brushing across each other’s every now and then, leaving Avery wanting more.
She wanted more than just a kiss and Paisley’s arms around her. She wanted to be naked and wrapped up in Paisley’s arms that way.
Her thoughts of that ending when Paisley pulled away from the kiss to look at her. Paisley’s pupils blown just a bit and her lips just a tad bit kiss swollen already.
“I want to take you back to my house,” Paisley spoke and the words along with what they had just been doing before hand where enough to make Avery squirm. “Can I take you home?” she asked which almost made Avery laugh out loud.
Avery felt like her answer should have been obvious.
“Yeah,” Avery answered hating the way she sounded eager. “You can take me to your home,” she said with a head nod. A grin appearing on her lips when Paisley leaned in to kiss her briefly one last time before she pulled away.
Both girls separating as they found their way into Paisley’s car. Avery’s grin only growing when Paisley took her hand as she began to drive.
It was enough that Avery could pretend this wasn’t what it really was. She could pretend they were just a couple going to their own house to have sex after a date.
She could ignore the fact that what this really was in the end was Paisley taking her more than likely to the home she shared with Sloan. Ignore the fact that when they made it to said home they’d have sex in a bed Paisley shared with another woman.
Avery looked down as she walked into Paisley’s home, her head only lifting up once the light was turned on and she half wondered if she should be nice. Say it was a nice place and play dumb on why she was really here for a few seconds.
But before she could even make a decision on what to do Paisley was in front of her again, pulling her into a kiss and Avery guessed they were just going to pick up where they had stopped before.
They were just going to get right back to kissing and it wasn’t like Avery was complaining. It was hard to complain when this was exactly what she wanted.
So instead of pulling away to complain or ask questions, Avery returned the kiss all too eagerly. A moan slipping out of her mouth as Paisley’s arms once again found a place against her waist as she back her against a wall a bit roughly.
The kissing almost sloppy this time but still just as heated. Still full of want that both of them were obviously feeling right now.
Feeling a shiver run down her spine when Paisley’s lips moved away from her own, slowly moving down her neck, Avery let her eyes fall shut.
Another moan coming out when Paisley nipped at her neck softly before letting her tongue come out to brush at the skin she had nipped.
“Pai,” Avery muttered out as she closed her eyes a bit tighter. “Need you so bad right now.”
“You have me,” Paisley told her as her breath hit her skin and once again Avery shivered as a chill ran down her spine. “You have all of me right now,” she continued as she pulled away from Avery, making her pout slightly which seemed to make Paisley smirk.
But instead of saying anything she just beckoned Avery with her finger before walking down the hallway, Avery eagerly following behind as they soon made their way to a bedroom and once there it was Avery who initiated the kiss this time.
Her lips moving eagerly against Paisley’s as they made their way to the bed in the room where they fell against it softly. Avery somehow winding up on top of Paisley whose hand had started a slow descent up and under the dress that Avery was wearing.
Avery breaking the kiss long enough to pull her dress off, letting it fall to the floor somewhere in the room leaving her in her matching bra and panty set.
A fact that made her blush because she wasn’t sure she had ever wore such sexy underwear in front of Paisley before.
Then again she had lived at home back then and her mom would have been scandalized if Avery had bought sexy underwear.
“I think red lace is a good look on you Avery,” Paisley spoke her voice all soft and Avery’s blush grew as she locked eyes with the girl below her. Seeing nothing but pure lust in her eyes, something that was probably mirrored in Avery’s own eyes.
“Oh yeah?” Avery asked teasingly before leaning down to kiss Paisley again, her hands finding their way to the buttons on the dress shirt that Paisley had wore tonight. “Think I should wear red lace more often?” she asked in between kisses as she began to unbutton Paisley’s shirt.
Her eyes falling shut again as their hips slowly moved into each other. Avery beginning to ache for a touch from the girl below her.
“Definitely,” Paisley smirked as she broke their kisses this time, slipping out of the shirt that Avery had undone. Avery letting her eyes take in the new expanse of skin that was exposed to her.
Not sure why she was surprised that Paisley hadn’t wore a bra. Then again it wasn’t like she really needed one. She had less than Avery did in the breast department. Not that Avery was complaining because she loved Paisley’s breast.
Loved the way they felt against her own. Loved the way they felt in her mouth…she just loved her breast period.
“See something you like? Paisley asked with a laugh bringing Avery out of her own head as her face got even hotter.
“Just admiring your body,” Avery quipped before letting her mouth latch onto Paisley’s neck, kissing the skin there and being careful not to mark her when all she really wanted to do was mark her.
Wanted to leave her mark on Paisley’s body and let Sloan know that even if she was engaged to her that deep down, she’d always belong to someone else. She’d always be Avery’s.
Paisley only hmmed at her words though she didn’t say anything. Not words anyway. She did moan though as Avery kept kissing her neck.
Avery letting her hand go down to Paisley’s jeans which she undid in a hurry. Paisley moving to take those off as well once they were undone.
Both of them left in nothing but their underwear. Avery somehow still having on the most clothing which was what made her move away again to unclasp her bra, letting it fall off of her after it was undone.
A smirk appearing on her lips as Paisley’s eyes once again looked her over. Her hands going to also tug her underwear off, leaving her naked in front of the girl who had seen her naked countless times before.
Yet somehow she still felt as vulnerable as she had that very first time. Maybe because it had been so long since they were last together.
“You see something you like?” Avery questioned Paisley echoing her question from minutes before. Paisley’s cheeks getting just a tiny bit red.
“Just admiring your body,” Paisley mocked right back with a shake of her head as she lifted up slightly to kiss Avery again and Avery kissed her back. Pushing her back against the bed as she moved with her.
Her hand going down to push Paisley’s panties off and the moment they were gone Avery groaned out into Paisley’s mouth as Paisley somehow flipped them over so that she was the one on top right now.
Avery hating that she had lost control of the situation but as she pulled away to playfully complain about it any arguments she had died as she locked eyes with Paisley. All she could do was smile like some love struck idiot.
Paisley returning her smile as she maneuvered herself between Avery’s legs so that she could rock against her. Their clits rubbing against each other making Avery swear that an electric shock ran through her body. The good kind of electric shock.
If that were possible.
Avery couldn’t help but moan out loud when her own hips began to move with Paisley’s, her eyes falling shut as they moved at a pace that they could both handle. It wasn’t too fast or too rough.
It was almost just right if that were even possible. But it seemed it was and she was almost sure her body was working on muscle memory.
Going by what it knew the girl on top of her liked. Almost as if they were a couple again instead of two separate people.
Instead of two people having an affair because someone else wore an engagement ring from one of them.
“I love you Paisley,” Avery spoke softly before she could stop herself, her eyes opening as she looked at Paisley hating the pained expression on the other girls face.
Because it confirmed to her that even despite what was going on now that Paisley didn’t yet trust her. Maybe wasn’t even still in love with her.
“I know,” Paisley said almost just as soft. “I know you do,” she added on before leaning down to kiss Avery effectively shutting her up and it worked.
Avery closing her eyes again as she kissed Paisley back. She was doing her best to forget that Paisley hadn’t said it back. Doing her best not to be paranoid over what it meant.
Her orgasm coming wasn’t even enough though to stop the paranoid thoughts and neither was Paisley coming undone on top of her not long after her own orgasm.
It seemed that no matter how hard she tried not to be paranoid she was going to be. She was back to being scared that this was just some game to Paisley. That this was her way of getting back at her for what happened when Avery had the chance to chose her but didn’t.