web analytics

February 2008

Fixing her hair back into a tight ponytail Avery heaved a tiny sigh. Almost not wanting to go back home yet because if she went home and went to bed she’d be one day closer to Friday and her double date that she had. A date that she didn’t want.

Wished she could get out of for numerous reasons but she knew she couldn’t. Not when Jessica was expecting her to go and there was no letting down her sister who seemed to really want her and Jeremy’s relationship to work and so she’d go and pretend to be happy.

Hoping that no one could tell that she wasn’t. Hoping that her sister who seemed to have everything together couldn’t tell that she wasn’t happy with a boy who should have made her happy. A boy who deserved someone who he made happy and someone who truly and really loved him.

Something which Avery knew she couldn’t give him yet at the same time she was afraid to let him go. Afraid to admit some hard truths to herself because no matter how much she lied to herself maybe she was the scared little girl who still believed that God would send her to hell for being in love with another girl.

For having sex with another girl even and so maybe that’s why she still clung so tightly to Jeremy and the security that relationship gave her. Because it meant that she could maybe save herself from hell and have a fallback. A safety net in a boy who had been her best friend forever and someone who made her feel safe and comfortable. Never truly challenged her.

“You okay there Hanson?” Paisley asked from where she was still laying in her bed, wrapped in her sheets. “You’ve been sitting on the edge of my bed for five minutes now not moving and normally I wouldn’t complain about a hot girl sitting at the edge of my bed but you’re way too overdressed for my liking.”

Avery turned to look at Paisley, a tiny blush coming onto her cheeks though she did her best to remind herself that this was no strings. She shouldn’t be getting butterflies in her stomach for a girl who had made her promise the first time they hooked up not to fall in love.

If she did she’d be on a slippery slope…one she may have already been on anyway with all the shit going on right now.

“I’m fine,” Avery partly lied because in some ways she was fine. “Just dreading going home because it means once I go to sleep and wake up I’ll be one more day closer to Friday.”

Paisley furrowed her eyebrows at that, “What’s so bad about Friday?” she asked and of course Avery blushed because she realized then she hadn’t told Paisley about the double date. “Some of the best parties are on Friday’s.”

“Because I have a double date on Friday with Jeremy and my sister and her boyfriend. It’s one I didn’t even want but my sister roped me in and I’m dreading it,” Avery frowned as she shook her head. “I’m such an awful girlfriend because I’d rather be dead than on a double date with my boyfriend.”

“You could just not go,” Paisley suggested as if Avery had a choice in not going. Something Avery was quite sure she actually had no choice in whatsoever.

Avery shook her head with a slight frown, “I wish it were that easy,” she sighed knowing it wasn’t.

There was no way she couldn’t just not go. Not when it seemed like Jessica was always holding her to a higher standard. Like sometimes her whole family did and she didn’t like letting them down, especially the ones she was close too.

Paisley only shrugged as she sat up some in the bed, holding the sheet around her still naked body. “Well you know if you decide it is that easy there is a party this Friday that I’m going to with Calliope and Juniper. I think Cordelia is going too so they’ll know the details if you want to come.”

“Cordelia is going to a party?” Avery asked feeling a bit surprised because she had always thought Cordelia was like her someone who didn’t do parties often.

“Pretty sure it was a decision made by Juniper and Callie when they were still trying to set us up,” Paisley answered as she raised an eyebrow. “You jealous Cordelia is going to a party without you?” she questioned with a slight teasing tone. “I mean I think I have figured out she’s the one you have a crush on.”

Blushing at Paisley’s words, Avery looked down and away from her, “I’m not jealous,” she denied though deep down maybe she was though she wasn’t sure if she was jealous about Cordelia going to the party or the thought that Paisley could sleep with Cordelia.

But then again hadn’t Cordelia made it clear last weekend that she liked someone who wasn’t available right now? So maybe Cordelia wouldn’t sleep with Paisley but again Avery was still irrationally jealous over the prospect and the weird part was she wasn’t sure if it was because of her crush on Cordelia or her weird developing feelings for Paisley that she shouldn’t have at all.

“You’re a terrible liar Hanson,” Paisley smiled and all Avery could do was blush again.

Avery chewed her lip as she finally looked at Paisley, “Maybe I’m a bit jealous,” she finally relented being honest. “Just I don’t want you sleeping with Cordelia,” she sighed knowing she probably sounded pathetic and dumb.

Not wanting Paisley and Cordelia sleeping together when she herself was sleeping with Paisley. It was rather selfish and dumb and proved just how jealous she truly was.

“Would just find it weird and all,” Avery finished in Paisley’s silence praying to god that Paisley didn’t judge her for how she felt. Because she herself knew it was stupid she didn’t need someone else to tell her what she knew deep down.

“You don’t have to worry,” Paisley shook her head as she moved to reach out for one of Avery’s hands and Avery hated the way her stomach did flip flops still. “Cordelia isn’t my type so I wouldn’t sleep with her. Though if I’m being honest I don’t think she’s your type either Avery.”

Avery laughed slightly at Paisley’s words, “I don’t think I even have a type right now. I’m not even sure I’m fully lesbian.”

“Nah,” Paisley smirked as she squeezed Avery’s hand. “You have a type and Cordelia isn’t it.”

Quirking an eyebrow up Avery looked at Paisley curiously, wondering what the other girl thought her type was. “Then what exactly is my type?” she questioned voicing her thoughts from moments ago.

“Women and people who don’t make you feel comfortable,” Paisley answered her face staying straight and she sounded like she honestly believed her words. Like she knew Avery better than Avery knew herself. “Juniper was right when she said you like people who make you feel comfortable but that isn’t your type. I think deep down you know your type is someone a bit more dangerous, someone who doesn’t make you comfortable and who will make you come out of your comfort zone.”

Falling silent Avery looked down at her and Paisley’s hands, hating that Paisley may have been right. That Paisley may have indeed knew her better than she knew herself or about the same as she knew herself.

“I think you are wrong,” Avery stated with a shake of her head though she knew both her and Paisley knew her words were a lie. “I’m content with people who make me comfortable and I don’t need someone who challenges me.”

Paisley only let out a sarcastic laugh before pulling Avery closer and pecking her on the lips softly, “If you say so,” she muttered after pulling away.

“I do say so,” Avery muttered back before kissing Paisley again and this time as they kissed it was longer than a peck and it resulted in Paisley moving back down on the bed and pulling Avery along with her. A shiver going down Avery’s spine as Paisley’s hand made it’s way up her shirt.

Though it also made Avery come to her senses and pull away, “I need to go,” she frowned knowing she couldn’t stay out all night or her parents would freak out.

“Do you really?” Paisley asked as she eyed Avery. “You can’t be bad for just one night? Stay with me and be bad,” she spoke with a purr practically coming out of her and god damn it Avery felt her resolve wavering.

“I think I can,” Avery nodded her head giving into what Paisley clearly wanted and also what Avery wanted deep down.

Even though she knew there would be consequences tomorrow with her parents more than likely. Mainly because she was sure they had already probably called Juniper and found out her excuse for being out of the house was a lie. Which meant that Avery would have to tell Juniper too or make up another lie for why she had lied to her parents about where she had been.

After agreeing Avery leaned down and kissed Paisley again, coming to the realization that she probably wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight. Something that was even more confirmed when Paisley’s hand went back under her shirt, pushing it up slowly this time.


Waking the next day Avery stretched some as she opened her eyes, her eyes landing on the clock and once they did she sat up quickly in bed. It was almost one in the afternoon and she had slept later than she had meant too and now she was even more certain that she was going to be in trouble.

Her parents were going to kill her for sure or at least ground her and Avery who usually hated being grounded almost felt relief at the thought. Because if she was grounded then she couldn’t go to the date she didn’t want to be on anyway.

Shaking her head Avery slowly slipped out of Paisley’s bed and found her clothes in a hurry. Putting them on in just as much of a hurry and it was only after she had her clothes on that she saw the note lying on the pillow where Paisley had slept.

Biting her lip she reached down and picked it up, reading over the words that Paisley had written.

Sorry I didn’t wake you when I got up to leave for classes. You looked so peaceful sleeping and I didn’t want to disturb you ;). Call me later and let me know how much trouble you get in 914-545-7896

After reading the letter Avery couldn’t help but grin even if a part of her was a bit angry that Paisley hadn’t woken her up but instead she did her best to ignore that anger. Pocketing the letter before leaving the room a part of her dreading going home even if being grounded was looking like a good option.


Arriving home Avery parked her car in the driveway, getting out and heading inside though she slowed when she reached the porch, seeing Zoe sitting outside with one of their dogs.

“You know mom’s going to kill you when you go inside right?” Zoe asked as she looked up at Avery a small smile on her face. Almost like she took joy in Avery getting in trouble and maybe she did.

At least it wouldn’t be her and Avery couldn’t lie sometimes she had gotten gleeful at times when her siblings got into trouble and it wasn’t her on the receiving end of their parents wrath.

“I figured,” Avery nodded her head as she forced a smile. “Maybe you’ll get my room once she does kill me. Haven’t you always wanted it? It’s bigger than yours,” she spoke back a bit sarcastically but Avery knew her ten year old sister could handle it.

She had gotten good at snark too, probably learned it from Mac because they seemed close. Always had been closer just like Avery was closer to Zac and sometimes Jessica when Jessica wasn’t getting on her nerves or forcing things on her like double dates.

“Funny Avie,” Zoe replied with a roll of her eyes. “But at least I’ll make sure to take care of the room,” she smiled sweetly but Avery could see through it and knew it was fake.

“I’m sure you will,” Avery nodded her head before walking up onto the porch and heading inside. Almost glad Zoe hadn’t followed her inside because when she got in trouble she really didn’t want her sister to witness it. Especially as she tried to think up lies that she could tell.

Lies that she was already imagining in her head as she walked to the living room where she found her mom, seated on the couch a book in her hands. A book that she moved down when she heard footsteps and the moment her gaze landed on Avery well it wasn’t a pretty one at all.

If looks could kill Avery knew she’d be dead on the spot.

“You were out all night,” Diana stated using her stern mother voice. A voice Avery knew well. “Had your father and I up most of the night.”

“I know,” Avery spoke her voice coming out soft and she almost wished her dad was home right now but he was more than likely out doing something for one of her siblings so her mom could dish out Avery’s punishment.

It was always her mom who did the punishing and seemed to run the house…more so than her dad did anyway. Even if the fans of her brother’s saw it otherwise.

“You also weren’t with Juniper either,” Diana said and Avery had to look away from her mom. “I called her last night to see and she was surprised because you weren’t even supposed to be at her house.”

Avery nodded her head as she ran a hand through her hair that she hadn’t had time to put up into a ponytail.

“So that begs the question, just where were you last night Avery Laurel Hanson and why did you lie about where you would be?” Diana asked and Avery hated that when she looked back up her mom was still giving her a look that could kill her.

Swallowing hard Avery chewed her lip as she again went through lies she could tell. “I was staying at a friends,” she decided telling the truth part way at least. “It’s a friend that you and dad don’t know yet but I was helping her study,” she shrugged as a lie came out again. “I should have been honest I know and I’m sorry.”

After speaking Avery held her breath waiting for her mom to speak up and say something, anything.

“A friend we don’t know?” Diana asked sounding a bit hurt that Avery was keeping friends from her. “I’m not sure I like the idea that my seventeen year old daughter has friends I don’t know about but then again you are almost eighteen so I guess I can’t complain too much about that. But I can ground you.”

“You can,” Avery agreed almost too readily.

“But I am not,” Diana spoke and her words felt like punishment enough for Avery. “I know about your double date with Jeremy and I don’t think that would be fair to him. Just know though that if you stay out all night again and lie to your father and I on where you are then you will be grounded, regardless of double dates.”

“O…okay,” Avery whispered her voice catching and as funny as it was the non grounding almost felt like punishment enough.

That and the knowledge that she’d have to figure out what to tell Juniper about why she had lied about going to her house and just where she had been. Because she knew Juniper would know the friend thing was a lie.

Previous | Next