I walked up to my mother and handed her a stack of assignments, releasing a huge sigh of relief once she took them. As soon as she looked them over, I would be done for the semester, and I could enjoy my summer. I hated being home schooled, but I would never breath a word of that feeling to my parents.
I texted Mac, who was probably off with some of his Tulsa friends, to see if I could join him now that I was free for the summer. Mac had the uncanny ability to make friends anywhere he went. All my brothers were charismatic that way, but I was always so amazed by how many people Mackenzie knew. It seemed as though he could hop in the car and drive to any town he wanted and have a place to say. I didn’t know how he did it. While I waited for his response I trudged up to my room and opened my laptop, checking my facebook and twitter. I had a few new friend requests and followers nearly every day, and I knew why.
It was fans.
I didn’t mind. Actually, I enjoyed having an audience of some sort, even if I wasn’t the one onstage. My other siblings shared the same plight and while Mac and I liked the semblance of popularity we experienced, Avery and Jessica hated it. This past year at H-day, people even asked for pictures with me, to which I happily obliged. I scoured the internet for the next few days, tracking down the selfies, and making sure they looked okay.
My phone buzzed.
I just got lunch with Charlotte. What are you up to?
I replied back.
Just got done with school! For the year! Let’s do something to celebrate!
I closed out of my texts and opened instagram. Again, there were quite a few likes and comments. I had turned off notifications, since the fans had started finding me, and only replied to some of the comments. Most of them were about how much I looked like my brothers, anyway.
***
The phone rang and I sprang towards the kitchen.
“Hanson residence, Zoe speaking,” I said, smartly.
“Hey Zo-bug, it’s Zac. How’s it going?” He sounded tired. Not sad, but definitely exhausted. It had been two weeks since he left to go to California.
“Hi! It’s good. I was just watching TV with Mackie.”
“How’s your schoolwork going? Good? How’s Mac?”
“Mac’s good, I’m good, everything is good, I guess. School is fine.”
He snorted with laughter, “I understand. Don’t worry, I hated it too. Okay well…I’m glad you’re doing good. Can you put Mom on the phone?”
“Yeah, why?” I asked. I couldn’t deny that I was nosy. I liked to know what was going on at all times.
“I just wanted to check in. It’s been a couple days.”
I sighed. He wasn’t going to give me any more than that, I supposed. “Okay. I’ll get her. Love you.”
“Love you, too, Bug.”
I rolled my eyes at the use of my nickname. Mac had coined it years ago, and it caught on within the family. I went through phases of loving and hating it, and at eleven, I wished people would just call me by my name. I called for Mom and waited a few moments before wandering down to the basement. Luckily, Mac was pretty engrossed in the television show and didn’t see me descend the stairs.
I picked up the receiver as quietly as I could and placed it to my ear, coming in on the middle of Zac’s sentence.
“–even though it’s just sitting around all day. I guess it’s just emotional exhaustion. But no, it’s good. It’s hard. But it’s good.”
“I’m glad it’s going well. I just…we all want you to get better.”
“I know, and I will. There are some days that feel particularly hard and pointless, but…God, it’s nice to have someone who’s literal job it is to talk to me every day.”
“How are the other people there?”
“Um…I don’t really spend much time with them yet. For now I’m mostly doing individual therapy and nutritional counseling. I go more into group stuff later. The food stuff is pretty hard. I didn’t really realize how deep in it I was until…now.”
“But it’s going okay?”
“Yeah it is. It…sucks. It’s hard, I’m not going to try to pretend like it’s not really hard. And I hate saying that eating is hard because it shouldn’t be, it sounds…so stupid and like I’m whining about something that isn’t really a big deal but…yeah. I’m very tired. But they keep saying it’ll get easier, so I’m hoping that’s the case.”
“I’m sure it will.”
“Thanks, Mom. Anyway, I just wanted to check in and make sure you were doing okay and everything. I’m gonna call Kate here in a minute.”
“We love you, Zachary. Come home when you’re ready.”
“Love you too. Bye.”
I waited until they had both hung up before I set the receiver back down in it’s cradle, another trick of the eavesdropping trade. What on earth were they talking about?
I slipped back upstairs before Mom came out of the kitchen, but I caught her drying her face quickly, her eyes sparkling with a few tears. Maybe I would try to pry Mackie for more information later.
***
I looked at myself in the mirror for longer than I meant to. Mac had texted me back letting me know he was going to stop by the studio to say hi to my brothers, but that we could meet up downtown to hang out. This is why I loved when my brother was home. I felt more like a teenager than any other time.
I changed out of one of my countless Hanson t-shirts and put on a delicate peasant top. I brushed out my long hair, an attribute I acquired from my mother, and placed it so it cascaded over my shoulders like a river of golden water.
When I arrived downtown, Mac was waiting for me at a coffee shop, chatting with the female barista behind the counter. I smirked, knowing that he had quite the habit of flirting with any girl he laid eyes on (“Yeah I’m the fourth Hanson brother, can you believe it? No, really, I’m completely serious.” Crazy thing was, it usually worked). I knew how much he resented being the only boy in the family who wasn’t a part of the band, so he might as well use his last name for something.
“Hey brother!” I called out to him as I walked through the door.
“Hey! The guys gave me their orders so I’m gonna bring them something,” he said, rolling his eyes. But I felt like underneath the annoyance was some gratefulness for being needed, even if it was just to fetch coffee.
“I’ll help you carry it over,” I offered before turning to the barista. “Can I get an soy iced latte please?”
We got Taylor’s red-eye, Ike’s latte, and Zac’s iced tea and precariously balanced them in our arms while we walked the block over to 3CG.
“How was lunch?” I asked Mac.
“It was fine. I hadn’t seen Charlotte in like…almost a year.”
It was my turn to roll my eyes. Charlotte and Mac had dated on and off for nearly three years when he lived in Tulsa. It was the most tumultuous and unpredictable relationship that any of my siblings had ever been a part of, at least as far as I knew. In our family, you date one person, and then you get married. Well…except for Avery, I suppose.
“And?” I asked.
“She’s good. She’s pregnant.”
“What!!”
“Oh come on, Tulsa is small, you knew that.”
“I most certainly didn’t, Mackenzie. I knew she got married last fall but I didn’t know she was already knocked up.”
“Yep. Dodged a bullet there. I can’t even imagine being married right now.”
“You and me both.”
We buzzed the intercom at the studio (“Coffee Delivery!!!” Mac yelled into the microphone), and found our brothers deep in conversation in the control room. Their faces broke out into appreciative smiles when they saw the caffeine that was being delivered.
“Hey Zo-bug!” Ike said when he saw me, pulling me into a hug. I realized I hadn’t seen him in a few days. “How’s it going?”
“Good! Just finished school for the year!”
Ike gave me a high five and Taylor nodded approvingly. Zac continued to doodle.
“Well, we’ll let you guys get back to work. We have some youngest sibling catching up to do,” Mackenzie said as he started to leave.
We were almost out the door when Zac called out, “Oh shit…hey Zoe?”
“Yeah?” I asked as I turned around to face him again.
“Can you watch the kids tonight? Sorry I know it’s last minute.”
I wasn’t super close with Zac’s kids, or Zac…or Kate for that matter. But I never minded babysitting. In fact, I took pride in how good I was at it by now. Having kids of my own would feel like a walk in the park at this point.
“Yeah, of course.”