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We left the next morning, once again, later than we had intended. Saying goodbye to Avery was surprisingly difficult, and I promised her that I would visit again as soon as I could. Now that the awkward first confrontation was out of the way, next time would be easier. Paisley and I would probably never get along as well as Avery might hope, we were both just way too hard headed to ever truly get along. But she definitely made my sister happy. I couldn’t deny that.

“Sorry it’s taking so long to get to Cali,” Mac said early that afternoon, while we were scanning the exit signs for somewhere to stop for lunch. All I had in my system was coffee, a feeling I was getting far too used to, and my brain was buzzing.

“It’s okay! I like road trips, you know that. We can take as long as we want and I’ll be perfectly happy. I just wanted to get out of T-town for a while.”

“Now that I understand.”

I looked out my window for a few moments, relishing in the silence. The album Mac had put on earlier had ended, and he didn’t start up a new one. Our soundtrack was the hum of the road.

“So why did you leave? I mean…I know why Avery did. But you’ve never actually told me.”

“What, why I left Tulsa?”

“Yeah.”

Mac snorted and rubbed his eyes underneath his aviators. “I think we all know I don’t exactly fit in in the family.”

“Oh come on, that’s not true!”

“I mean sure, I get along with everyone. More so than you, that’s for sure.”

“Shut up!”

He laughed openly, making me giggle. I was happy for the laughter. Everything had gotten so sentimental last night, and seemed to be staying so in the car.

“I don’t want to get married and have a big family only to abandon them to go on tour and leave my kids so that my little sister can watch them for free.”

“Wow Mac. Tell me how you really feel.”

“You asked.”

“Yeah….Do you ever want to get married?” It was a simple question, and one which I was conditioned to know my answer to. I absolutely wanted to get married and have kids. Right? That’s what we all wanted. But I realized I had never asked Mac, and I was curious as to what he would say.

He sighed deeply, and I could see the wheels in his head turning, attempting to escape the interrogation. His eyes shifted around the landscape in front of us.

“I don’t think so.”

“Really?”

“Why are you interviewing me right now?”

“Because it’s a long drive…and I don’t know. I’m curious? We never talk about this kind of stuff. We usually just kid around and gossip about the rest of our family.”

“I guess you’re right,” He replied with a smirk. “But yeah, I don’t think so. I don’t know. I guess I should never say never.”

“Right.” I picked at my cuticles, wondering if Mac wanted me to keep talking. “Do you want kids, though?”

Now let me just say that no matter how much time any of us spend away from each other, there will always be a connection between me and my siblings. Maybe it’s because we share the same facial features, causing our expressions to mirror each other’s perfectly. Maybe it’s because the cadence of our voices are the same, causing us to notice every catch in each other’s voices, every stumble over words, every misplaced breath. But in that quick moment, the length of a blink, I saw Mac grow uncomfortable and instantly bury it beneath his extroverted, charismatic veneer.

“Don’t you think the rest of our family has that covered?” He said jokingly. If I had been anyone else, I would have believed his carefree attitude. Reveled in his comedic relief. But I was me, and I saw through it.

I narrowed my gaze at him, wondering what he was hiding. Something was up.

“Oh shit, can you grab that?” Mac said, when we heard his phone begin to vibrate aggressively. It was in his duffel bag which was in the back seat, and I had to unbuckle my seatbelt to retrieve it. I expected it to be Mom, trying to see where we were and give us some unsolicited advice. But it was actually Taylor, a goofy picture of him flashing up on the screen.

“It’s Tay.”

“Yeah, he said he was gonna call….hey!” He snapped at me and lunged towards the passenger seat when I answered the phone instead of handing it to him. “Give it to me!”

“Hey brother!” I said cheerfully, surely surprising Taylor, who was expecting Mac.

“Zoe?” He asked.

“Oh, very good. You know your own sister’s voice. Yes this is Zoe.”

“Why do you have Mac’s phone?”

“Because…I’m with him?”

“Oh. Um okay…Can you put him on the phone?”

“Why are you calling?”

“Just put him on the phone, Zo!”

I rolled my eyes. “Okay, great to talk to you too, Tay,” I said sarcastically as I handed the phone over to Mac. I wanted him to put in on speaker so I could hear both sides of the conversation, but he didn’t. He lowered his voice as he began talking.

“Hey…yeah, sorry. I didn’t know you would call I just meant like texting, I guess….Well I can’t really right now ‘cause. Yeah. Yeah she came with me. Can I just…yeah…can I just text you later, maybe? Okay, cool. Yep. Yeah, I know, I’m…yeah, sorry. Okay. Alright. Bye.”

Mac hung up and dropped his phone in his lap, looking straight ahead at the road. I looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to explain the phone call to me. He said nothing, so I broke the silence.

“…What was that about?” I asked, my voice much louder than Mac’s had just been.

“What? Oh…nothing.”

I barked with laughter, keeping my eye on Mac as he avoided my gaze. “That was not nothing! I have been spying on this family for years, I know when something is something. That was something.”

“It wasn’t anything, Zoe, drop it!”

“Just tell me, because you know better than anyone that I will find out. If more than one family members knows anything, I will find out.”

Mac rolled his eyes dramatically and let out an exasperated groan. “God, you’re so annoying.”

“I’m aware of that.”

Silence descended once again. I looked out the window at the passing scenery, my stomach tightening around it’s emptiness. We should probably stop for lunch, or maybe more coffee, I thought to myself. I felt like I was buzzing out of my skin, but more coffee would be better than eating quite yet. It was still pretty early. I sighed heavily, so that Mac would notice.

“And why was Taylor calling you? You barely even talk to Taylor. Zac, I can understand. Even Isaac I can understand. But Taylor? What in the….” before I could even finish my sentence the wheels clicked into place and something dawned on me. Taylor. Mac. He kept bringing up Charlotte…

“Oh my god!” I said, everything making sense to me. Years of snooping and putting together bits of information to form a whole had trained me for moments like this.

“What?” Mac asked, doubtful of my skills working quite so quickly. But I knew I was right.

“Charlotte.”

I saw Mac blanch. I had cracked it. “What about her?” He asked, once again forgetting that we share the same facial expressions, the same worried tone when hiding things.

“She’s pregnant.”

“Zoe, shut up, don’t…you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“It’s yours. That’s why you asked Taylor to give you advice. But…she’s married!”

“Yes, okay, I KNOW. I know she’s married, Zoe, I went to the wedding. Shut up, please. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“But…”

“Shut up!!”

More silence. I looked around awkwardly, the tension in the car thick and palpable.

“Sorry,” I muttered, not knowing how else to proceed.

“It’s…it’s fine.”

“Do you wanna like…talk about it?” I offered.

“Not really. I’m just…I’m just scared, is all. And mad at myself. And at us. That was just…it was just a really stupid mistake.”

“Well, I have a feeling that someone in this family can help you out with this one. Stupid mistakes are kind of our thing.”

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