“Eat a fucking hamburger.” The words I said to Zac after the interview replayed in my head like a broken record. How could I be so harsh? Especially when I was fighting my own demons. I kept craving painkillers, even though my arm had healed over the last year and I wasn’t in pain anymore. On tour, opportunities to buy them off the street abounded. So far, I had resisted the temptation, but I could feel it tugging at me. I could only hope that tour ended before temptation won. I called Nikki every day, but of course I couldn’t tell her what I was going through.
I sniffed and dug in my bag for some cold medicine. This had to be the worst case of the crud yet. I checked our tour schedule, not enough time for a nap before The Walk, so Dayquil would just have to do.
“I have something better,” Taylor said, taking the medicine out of my hand and giving me a glass of whiskey.
“Oh, much better, thanks.” I felt better after the first sip.
“No problem. Now sit down, we need to talk.”
“I believe that’s my line,” I said, raising my eyebrow at my younger brother.
Taylor pointed to the couch and stared me down until I sat.
“You do realize that Zac is having some major problems, right?”
“Yes, I know that. I wish he would eat something. He looks sick.”
“I agree, but yelling at him isn’t going to force him to get better. What are you trying to do?”
I sighed. “I feel like shit for saying that to him. It just came out. I didn’t really mean it,”
“Then why don’t you tell him that?”
“You know how he is these days. He just flies off the handle.”
“How he is these days has a lot to do with how you are these days, actually. You two are always at each other.”
“That’s because he’s as stubborn and hardheaded as they come.”
Taylor nodded. “I know. And when you yell at him, it only makes him more determined to do things his way.”
“He needs to be determined to keep himself healthy.”
“His brain isn’t focused on healthy right now. It’s focused on skinny.”
“Zac has never needed to lose weight.”
“I know that. You know that. We need Zac to know that. But, like you said, he is stubborn. We need to figure out how to get him to eat and make him think it’s his idea.”
“And what do you suggest?”
“Maybe if we both talk about how hungry we are all the time it will make him hungry too. Kind of like a subliminal message.”
“Or maybe he will just tune us out like he does the interview reporters.”
“Well, I’d prefer to tune most of them out, too. But, anyway, let’s see what happens over the next few days. Don’t yell at Zac or make him feel like shit. You will only make it worse.”
“Alright, Tay. Mission good cop/good cop is a go. Let’s see if we can’t get our brother healthy.”
Tay patted my back before muttering “How old are you?” as he walked away.