“Is it catering by Nikki this year?” I wrapped my arms around Nikki’s waste. She was standing in the kitchen rolling out her famous sausage balls.
“Yep. Back to the grind. I just wanted to make these since Zac likes them so much. I just thought . . .”
I kissed the back of her neck. “Thank you, darling.”
“Do you remember what you promised?”
“Yes. I remember. No more tough love. No more arguments with Zac.”
She patted my arm. It was so strange. Just a year ago even that small touch would have made me shudder in pain. I guess time really does heal. I hoped it would heal my brother, I was out of options.
“Ok. Go set the cards out on the table and make sure your sons aren’t getting into too much trouble.”
Everette was playing on the floor with big blocks and Monroe was sleeping in his play pen in our living room.
I pulled the playing cards out of the entertainment center and spread the packs out around the living room so small groups could gather. There would only be about 10 of us, but that was more than enough. My parents were coming to pick up the boys soon. Everyone attending the party had at least one young child, so it would probably be a low key night, and an early one at that. I was glad. Yesterday was officially our last day in the office until after the new year. I was looking forward to spending time with my wife and son.
I sat on the floor and started building a tower with Everette’s blocks. “Are you looking out for your younger brother?” I asked.
He just looked up at me with his beautiful brown eyes.
I smiled at him. “Us oldest kids have a responsibility to look out for the younger ones, you know,” I told him.
He shook his head at me. I was confused until I saw him rearrange the blocks in my tower. I guess he didn’t like my color pattern.
I kissed the top of his head, still blond for now, but in a few years, who knew?
“That’s ok. You don’t have to start worrying about that for a few years yet. Just play.”
Monroe was still sleeping, so I didn’t disturb him.
I started to head back to the kitchen, but I was interrupted by the doorbell.
Everette hardly looked back at his block tower as he knocked it over in his rush to get to Monroe, who had started crying. He stood as far as his tip toes would let him to peek over the side of the play pen and reached his hands out to Monroe.
“Huh. I guess you were listening after all,” I put Monroe on my shoulder as Nikki came around the corner to open the door. Everette didn’t take his eyes off his brother the entire time.
Nikki scooped Everette into her arms on the way, but he still peaked over to her shoulder to look after his baby brother.
“Well, looks like everyone has their arms full,” my mom stated the obvious.
“We wouldn’t have it any other way,” we both said at the same time.
Mom smiled approvingly. It was a bit sad that we had to keep up a certain appearance, even with our own family. Mom was super mom and didn’t tolerate any less from her daughters-in-law.
She breezed into our house and went right to the boys’ room to gather their things. Nikki already had their bags packed for that night and the next day.
“I’ll go ahead and get them settled in the car. I know you both have quite a bit to do to finish getting ready for the party,” my dad reached for Monroe and Everette immediately started whining. Lord help us if they ever have a sister.
“You’re going too, little man,” Nikki said, as she followed my Dad out to the car. I went to the boys’ room to see if my mom needed help.
I found her going through their chest of drawers. “Can I help you find something?” I asked.
“Oh, Ike. I was just looking to see if they had thicker coats. You never know when the weather might turn.”
It was unseasonably warm and supposed to stay in the 60s until at least the New Year. It was a poor excuse, but I ignored it.
“They are hanging in the closet,” I pointed clear to the other side of the room.
“Right,” she said, meandering over. I could see she was looking for something to criticize, but Nikki kept the closet in perfect order. She took the coats and headed back toward the front of the house. I followed behind her with the bags.
“Alright, we will see you tomorrow afternoon, then,” my mom said as I helped her into the car. Nikki and I planned to finish our Christmas shopping tomorrow, then go by and pick up the boys. There were a few things Everette added to his list after New York.
“See you then,” she said.
We watched them pull out of the driveway. Nikki sighed as we walked back into the house. I kissed the top of her head. “I know, darling. I know. We’ll have a least a few minutes to our . . .” I trailed off as I heard a car pull into the driveway.
So much for that. We turned around and waved to our friends Mike and Julie. They were one of 2 non-family couples attending.
“We are a bit early, I hope you don’t mind,” she said.
“Not at all,” Nikki replied, ever the gracious hostess.
We ushered them into the house. The women went into the kitchen to start on the wine. I poured a whiskey for myself and Mike.
“Make yourself at home, I’ve just got a bit more cleaning to do, then I can sit and chat,” I told him, as I moved the playpen out of the living room to make more room for the grown-ups.
“Then he threw his ID badge down on the desk and walked out! I wish I had the balls to do that,” Mike said.
“I wish you didn’t want to do that,” I told him. Every time I heard a story like this from someone with an office job it reminded me how incredibly lucky I was to be my own boss. Of course we had our struggles, but at the end of the day we made our own rules and we were responsible for our own success.
“Same.”
“May I refresh your drink?” I asked Mike, reaching for his high ball glass.
“Nah, I’d better start on water,” he said.
“Gotcha. I’ll be right back,” I told him, heading over to our living room wet bar. I noticed Zac and Kate had arrived, so I made my way over to say hi.
I slapped him on the back a little harder than I intended to “Glad to see you guys made it! Grab a beer, make yourself at home. Oh, and some of those sausage balls Nikki always makes. They’re the best.”
“I’m good,” I barely heard him say.
I rolled my eyes. “Of course you are. Do you eat at all anymore?”
“Of course I eat,” he replied, much louder this time.
I stepped back. I promised Nikki I wouldn’t fight with him. I needed to calm down and remember that my brother was a grown man and could make his own decisions about when and what to eat.
“Hey,” Kate said, putting her hand on his arm. “It’s okay. We’ll just get a little snack; we haven’t had dinner yet.” Zac shook his head, but went with Kate to the kitchen.
I topped off my drink and went over to visit with our other guests until I felt like I was capable of keeping my promise to Nikki. About an hour later I wandered over to where Zac was watching Kate play cards with Julie, Natalie, and Hope, a young married woman we had taken under our wing this holiday season since her husband was deployed.
“Well, someone’s in a good mood for once,” I said to him. He looked like he was really enjoying his bottle of cider. Maybe the holiday spirit was finally working its magic on my little brother.
“I’m always in a good mood,” he said. Was he talking slurred or was I hearing slurred?
“Just leave it,” I heard Kate tell him. That was probably a good idea for me, too. I put my drink on the counter, almost dropping it off the end. I shook myself to clear my head. This was not good.
“I’m leaving it,” he said. “He’s the one who keeps picking it back up,” Zac pointed at me.
“Maybe if you’d eat a little something more often, you’d stay in a good mood,” I said. Zac glared at me. I should have stopped there. I should have walked away to go find Nikki. I didn’t.
“What did you eat?” I asked. “One carrot stick?”
“And washed it down with half your alcohol, from the looks of things,” Taylor remarked, walking up behind me. I thought he was sitting with Natalie, and had no idea he could hear. I wondered if Nikki knew what was going on. I glanced up to look for her. She was paying rapt attention, as were the other guests at the party.
I jumped when Zac pounded his cider bottle down on the table. I was surprised it didn’t break. He ran to the bathroom and slammed the door closed, leaving us all to stare behind him.
And I knew. I knew it was my fault. All I wanted was for my brother to be healthy, so why did I keep screwing up?
“I’ll give him a few minutes, then we’ll probably head home,” Kate said. “I’m a bit tired and I don’t want to keep Diana and Walker up too long.”
Our parents had agreed to watch Shepherd and Taylor’s kids in addition to Everette and Monroe. It was probably a lot to handle. Yes, they had 7 kids, but never that many babies at once.
“That’s fine,” Nikki said, walking up behind me. She put her hand on my shoulder, squeezing it. I knew that meant I was in trouble, but she wasn’t going to say anything in front of company.
“Hey,” Taylor hit my arm with the back of his hand. “I noticed something out in your garage you probably need to fix.”
“Alright, we’ll go look,” I said, following him.
Taylor barely waited until we closed the door. “Couldn’t you give him one fucking night? It’s not like we are on tour. All he has to do tomorrow is sleep.”
I looked down at my shoes. “You’re right. I don’t mean start it with him, but he’s not like you. I can talk you without it becoming World War III. Zac takes everything so personal.”
“That’s part of the reason he’s such a genius musician. He has this insane desire to be perfect, and thinks he’s a failure if he isn’t. You know that, and you could go a little easier on him. God knows he is hard enough on himself.”
“I know. You’re right. I’ll go apologize,” I said.
“I think that’s a good start. Then stop doing shit you have to apologize for.”
I nodded, and went back inside. I started to head toward the bathroom, but Nikki grabbed my arm and shook her head.
“Kate is in there with him.”
“Ok,” I said, understanding.
Most everyone else was gathering their coats to head out. The older we got, the shorter the party got. In a few years it would only last half an hour.
It was only a few minutes before Zac and Kate came out of the bathroom, holding hands. Kate said goodbye to everyone for the both of them while Zac kept his head down the entire time.
“Zac,” I started when they got to me, but Nikki and Kate both shot me looks that said I didn’t need to say anything else. “Merry Christmas,” I murmured to the front door closing behind them.