Dec. 2, 2013. Tour bus en route to Birmingham, AL.
Zac
I hated Taylor. No… that wasn’t really true. I wanted to hate him. But I couldn’t, even after everything, and that was the worst part. I lay in my bunk staring at the ceiling, and tried to calm my boiling blood. He was right; it really wasn’t any of my business who or what he did. I needed to just accept that and focus on my own life. I pulled out my phone, scrolling through the contacts, and took a deep breath. I couldn’t exactly vent all my issues to her, but at least I could distract myself for a while. I closed the curtain to my bunk, then dialled her number.
“Hello?” She answered after a couple rings.
“Umm, hi… this is Zac.”
“Oh, I didn’t expect to hear from you quite so soon.”
“I’m sorry… I don’t want to bother you if you’re busy.”
“Oh no, it’s fine. Slow day at the office,” she said, her tone light.
I smiled and let out a sigh. “Thanks.”
“It’s no problem at all. You can call me any time you like, Zac.”
“Thank you,” I said quietly. I really was happy to hear her voice, more than I had even expected to be.
“You’re welcome. Is there… anything in particular you wanted to talk about, or?”
“I was talking to… him,” I said, closing my eyes, “and we kind of had a fight.”
“Oh, I see. I’m sorry.”
“It’s… okay, I guess. Just tough. I kinda said some stuff I shouldn’t have.” It didn’t feel good to admit that, but it was a habit I’d always had. I knew exactly what buttons to press with Taylor, and when I felt threatened, I tended to go for the low blows more often than not.
“That happens even to the best of us. Especially when we’re really emotional about something… or someone.”
“Yeah…” I smiled. I didn’t know how she did it, but she seemed to know just what to say to make me feel better, without denying that I’d done wrong.
“May I ask what the fight was about? You don’t have to tell me, of course.”
“Well he spent the week off with his boyfriend, instead of going home to see his wife, and my–well, I had to hear about it. So I kinda threw a couple digs at him for that.”
“Oh. Oh I see. You hadn’t mentioned that he was married…”
“Yeah. Ten years. Kids and everything.”
“And he has a boyfriend who is also his Dom? Well, I’ve seen worse in my job, I suppose. I’m not really one to judge.”
“It’s a loveless marriage, though; they only got hitched because he knocked her up.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I felt a twinge of guilt. It was easy to forget sometimes, just how unwillingly Taylor had gone into the marriage. Was it really that surprising that he found it hard to stay faithful? I pushed the thought away, not liking how uncomfortable it made me feel.
“Oh… that’s unfortunate. For everyone involved, really.”
“I guess. She’s happy though, she got–well, she gets what she wants.”
“But he’s not happy, I presume?” She asked.
I let out a snort. “How would you feel if you were forced to marry your ex?”
“Trapped,” she answered, and I nodded.
“Exactly.”
“But he stays with her for the kids, I suppose.”
“Pretty much, yeah.” I was about to say something about our image, but that would be giving too much away. “His family is really conservative; divorce just isn’t something they would understand.”
“I see. Again, I’m not one to judge. I see… a lot of situations like that. But you don’t approve of his… behavior?”
“I just think he should be honest with himself. If he really wants to be with his boyfriend, he should man up and leave his wife, instead of two-timing her.”
“Things aren’t always that black and white, though. I’m not trying to defend him, I swear. I don’t know the guy.”
“Hardly anyone does,” I said with another snort. “He doesn’t let people in easily. I guess I’m pretty lucky,” I added, quietly.
“I’d say he’s the lucky one, Zac, to know you.”
“Can’t say I agree, but thanks.” I heard her sigh, and wondered what had caused it. Part of me hoped her compliment was sincere, but if she knew… well, I was just glad she didn’t know me that well yet.
“So, what did he say, then? When you were… criticizing his choices?”
“He said he was worried about me.”
“Worried?” She echoed, curiously.
“My back’s a little sore, and he caught me wincing. Figured out he’d been replaced.”
“Oh, I see. It sounds like he still cares about you.”
“I guess… not that it’s any of his business.”
“Perhaps it isn’t, but you can’t tell him not to care.”
“I think I tried,” I said, laughing.
“For some reason, that doesn’t surprise me,” she said dryly.
“What can I say? I have a way with words.”
“You certainly do,” she replied, and I grinned. All this emotional talk was exhausting. I thought about our last session, and how flustered she’d gotten when I teased her. I wondered if I could get a similar reaction from a distance.
“Been told I have a pretty talented tongue.”
“Oh,” she said, coughing a little. “Is that so?”
“Mhm.”
“Good to know.”
“Well I have to, my line of work. Gotta know how to get people in the right mood.” If there was one thing I was good at, it was innuendo. How many dirty jokes had I slipped into songs without my brothers noticing until it was too late?
“My, that sounds like an… interesting line of work. And that’s something coming from me,” she added with a slight chuckle that I echoed.
“Not that different, really,” I said, realizing it as I said it. “All about getting into someone’s head.”
“I suppose that is similar.”
“Learning what words to say to really… touch them, ya know?” I wasn’t even saying anything all that suggestive yet, but I couldn’t stop grinning as I pictured her cheeks turning pink.
“Mhm… Though I imagine it’s a different sort of touch we’re going for.”
“Maybe, maybe not.”
“Sounds like you could get in a lot of trouble while you’re gone…”
“Nah. Wouldn’t want to let you down.” I knew the truth was that I probably could have as many groupies as I wanted, but I’d never been into that kind of thing. Maybe seeing what happened to Tay had permanently soured the idea for me.
“Oh? Not even to really earn your punishment?”
“Oh I’ll earn it alright,” I laughed. “I’ll just have to keep it solo.”
“Oh, I’ve got no doubt that you’ll earn it.”
“I think I racked up a pretty good amount before I left, don’t you?” I said, lowering my voice. I closed my eyes, and I could almost feel her lips against mine.
“Yes, I think you definitely did.”
“Totally worth it, by the way.”
“Is that right.”
“Yep.” I settled back, letting my body relax. I’d started out just wanting to tease her, but I could feel myself warming up a bit, too. I wondered how far she would let me push things this time; words are only words, aren’t they?
“We’ll see about that. I still haven’t decided what I’m going to do with you next time…”
“I can think of a few things I’d like you to do to me, but that’d just earn me more punishments.”
“Oh, I’m sure you can.” She cleared her throat nervously, and I smiled wider.
“But I shouldn’t tell you,” I said, using a syrupy sweet tone. “That would be bad.”
“Yes. Yes, that would… definitely be bad.”
“So,” I went on, grinning and running a hand down my chest. “It would probably be bad of me to keep thinking about it while I’m talking to you, right?”
“Yes, that would be very bad,” she said, just a hint of breathiness to her voice.
“And if just thinking is bad,” I went on, lowering my voice. I was definitely pushing the limits now, and I was sure she’d stop me any second, but part of me hoped she wouldn’t. “Then I really shouldn’t be doing something about it while I’m talking to you, right?”
“N-no,” she stuttered. “No, you definitely shouldn’t be. You know there’s a punishment for that, no matter… who you’re thinking about.”
I sighed a bit, reaching down to grip the hard-on that’d been building for a while now. This felt like a major line, one that I really, really shouldn’t cross… but then, I was already damned, so how much worse could it get?
“Guess I’m just bad all over, then,” I said, sighing as I tugged down the zipper of my jeans and started stroking myself.
“Yes, I suppose you are…”
I sighed again, focusing on the physical sensations. Despite being a smartass to her, I really had been trying to follow her rules. Which, apparently, meant it didn’t take much to get me worked up anymore.
“Been a long time since I did this thinking of someone else,” I said quietly. Someone other than Taylor, I added in my head. But he really wasn’t the one on my mind at the moment, which was a welcome change.
“And thinking about your Mistress, too,” she said, a slight tremor in her voice that I couldn’t help noticing. “That’s just extra naughty, isn’t it?”
“Mhm.” I sped up my hand a bit, breathing a little heavier. The image in my head had been fuzzy at first, but I focused on it, picturing her more clearly. “But you’re the only one I wanna think about right now.”
“Seems like you’re trying really… really hard… to earn that punishment.”
“Yes, Mistress,” I replied, my snarkiness replaced with sincerity.
“Such a bad boy, Zac…”
“Mhm.” I shivered a little as I pictured her above me, her hands moving up and down my body, her lips curled in a tempting smirk.
“Whatever am I going to do with you…”
“I dunno,” I replied, grinning. “You tell me.”
“Mmm, I’ll have to think of an… extra special punishment for you.”
“Extra special, huh? You must really like me,” I teased.
“If by ‘like’ you mean think you’re a very, very naughty boy, then yes.”
“Oh I’m naughty, alright,” I said, my voice shaking a bit. “Naughty enough to take what I want.”
There was a silence; my words had taken us both by surprise.
“Now Zac… you wouldn’t do that. Mistress won’t allow that… sort of behavior.”
“Yes, Mistress,” I said quickly. “Sorry… I don’t know where that came from. I’m not usually… well, dominant like that.”
“That’s better. Besides, I thought you said you… didn’t deserve that? You think you’ve been good enough to deserve your Mistress now?”
“No,” I snorted, but then I paused, thinking. She couldn’t possibly mean that how it had come out, could she? “But are you saying if I was, I could earn it?”
“Oh, you’d have to be very good for that…”
That wasn’t a no.
“It would be worth it,” I said softly. I didn’t know if this was just fantasy still, but she hadn’t stopped me yet, so I was going to run with it as far as she’d let me.
“Of course… it’s only fair. If Mistress punishes you when you’re bad, then she should reward you when you earn it.”
“But…” I bit my lip hard. If I’d known what the reward for behaving was going to be, maybe I wouldn’t have been so quick to be bad. “I kinda already started. I can’t really just… stop. Not this time, anyway.” It was a little embarrassing to admit, but talking to her like this had me too close to just back off now, not without serious discomfort.
“So you’ve earned one punishment,” she chuckled, and I let out a sigh of relief. “You can still be good, other times.”
“Th-thank you, Mistress.”
“You’re welcome.”
“M-mistress?”
“Yes, Zac?”
“May I keep thinking about you? I mean, for now.”
I heard something that almost sounded like a moan, but it cut off before I could be sure. “Yes, you may. Just this once.”
“Thank you,” I breathed, speeding up my hand and gripping a little tighter.
“Y-you’re welcome,” she said, her voice catching. Was she…
“Mistress?”
Lily
Zac had barely been gone a week, and I couldn’t get him out of my mind at all. He didn’t need to know that, of course, but I was beginning to realize that I didn’t need to tell him. The cocky bastard—where had that side of him come from, anyway?—could clearly figure it out for himself.
At some point during this conversation, I had lost all sight of reason, of right and wrong. I had crossed almost every possible line I could cross, violating the very rules I had made. I didn’t have any brain cells left to worry or even think about that, though. All I could think about was Zac, and all of the terrible, wonderful things he was threatening to do to me.
I was so lost in those thoughts that I hardly even realized he was speaking to me.
“Mistress?”
“…Yes?”
“Are you…” He trailed off, but I had no doubt what he was asking.
“Of course not,” I replied, and it might have been halfway believable if my voice hadn’t wavered at the end, a damnable moan trying to break through.
“That’s too bad,” Zac said, “because I’m imagining you are.”
“Well, you’ve certainly got a… vivid imagination, don’t you?”
“Oh, you have no idea.”
“You could probably imagine things that would make even me blush, hmm?” I let myself fall back against my bed, giving up any pretense of fighting this. The suit I hadn’t yet changed out of after work that day was a crumpled mess, and I undid a few buttons on the shirt to give myself room to slide a hand into my bra and pinch a nipple.
“You bet I could,” Zac shot back. “See, my imagination is more than just sight; I use all the senses.”
“Is that right?” I asked, reaching back to loosen the zipper on my skirt to give myself better access.
“Mhm,” he said. “It’s not enough for me to picture you with your hand down your little lacy panties. I like to hear every little sigh and whimper…”
“Now, who said my panties were lacy?” I asked, breathlessly, hating that his mental picture of me was so accurate. Who was he to know me so well? Who did he think he was at all?
“Just a guess,” Zac replied, and I swore I could actually hear his smirk. “I can smell your perfume, a little sweet and a little spicy, mixed with something… darker, more you.”
“Can you really?”
“Mhm,” He replied. His voice softer, but certainly not any sweeter, he added, “And I can feel the goosebumps on your skin, the different textures all over your body, rough and smooth, cool and warm… dry and moist…”
I bit my lip to keep from moaning; moist was certainly right, and I was trembling all over, too. I clutched the bed sheet with my free hand, trying to steady myself. My composure barely regained at all, I remarked, “Yes, you certainly do have a vivid imagination.”
“Oh, but I haven’t gotten to the best one yet.”
“Oh?”
“Taste.” The word was barely whispered, but impossible to miss.
“Now that…” I whimpered. “That… would be a reward for Mistress, not you, wouldn’t you say?”
“If that’s how you want to see it. Personally, I’d see it as a treat.”
“And here I thought you weren’t eager to please…” I remarked.
Zac chuckled lightly. “Depends on what pleases you. I did say I have a talented tongue, didn’t I?”
“I do… I do recall hearing that somewhere.”
“Now taste…” He continued, as if I hadn’t interrupted his perverted train of thought at all. “That’s my favorite sense, because it’s a culmination of them.”
“Is that so?” I didn’t even know how I was capable of speech at this point. He wasn’t even specifically talking about what he wanted to do to me, but it was still driving me insane. How was it even possible? I hadn’t even been sure he was all that into women before this…
“The taste itself is only part of it,” he said. “A great part, mind you; one of my favorite flavors. But scent is half of taste, and the feel of my tongue against your skin… hard to beat.”
I didn’t even try to fight the moan that fell from my lips. There was no point in being coy or having any shame when we had already come this far.
Zac chuckled. “And that’s where the other two come in; getting to see and hear exactly what I’m doing to you.”
“Mmm, but I just don’t think you’ve been good enough to deserve that, though…” It was a weak attempt, but I had to maintain some sense of control here, something to remind him that I was still his Domme.
“I’ll just have to try harder, then. That would definitely be worth it.”
“I suppose we’ll see…” I replied. This was just part of the game, then. It had to be. He knew he wasn’t supposed to get sexual with me; what better way to act out and truly earn his punishment?
“I hope so, Mistress,” Zac said, a strange catch in his voice that I didn’t understand. “I’d love to please you. That would be enough of a reward for me, just to make you feel good for hours.”
“Hours?” I asked. “Well, aren’t you confident.”
“I can go all night if you’d like, Mistress. All night; all day. I won’t stop until you tell me to.”
“Mmm… now that’s a handy skill to have….”
He chuckled. “Speaking of handy…”
“Good with those, too, I suppose?” I asked, the words coming out in a pathetic pant. If this was truly still a game, I was quickly losing.
“You bet,” Zac replied proudly. “Very dexterous. I mostly drum, but I play guitar and piano, too.”
“So you are multi-talented.”
“I’d love to prove it to you, Mistress,” he replied, and I tried my best to ignore the imploring tone of his voice.
“Perhaps, if you’re very good…” I hoped he knew it was a hollow promise. I hoped I knew.
“Oh, I’ll be good for you, Mistress. So good.” He was breathing heavily, and that only made my own heart race more.
“Sounds like you could be quite a good little slave for me,” I remarked.
He whimpered, but seemed to recover quickly, replying, “Anything you want, Mistress. You name it; it’s yours.”
“You would do… anything for Mistress? Anything she wanted?” I let my mind wander, trying to think of something that might scare him off, might convince him that this twisted fantasy wasn’t the way to go.
“Anything, Mistress,” he practically panted. “I’m at your command.”
“I know you are,” I said. “And if you make Mistress feel good, then she should make you feel good, too, shouldn’t she?”
Zac gave a low moan that made me shiver all over. “If mistress wants.”
“Of course,” I managed to croak out. “Gotta reward you… when you’re good…”
“Yes… I could be so good for you, Mistress.”
“I’m sure you could,” I replied. “But perhaps Mistress should tie you up? Just to be sure you behave…”
“Y-yes… yes, Mistress.” His voice was shaky; perhaps I had finally gotten to him, but I wasn’t sure if that was a victory at all. “Could I… could I taste you, Mistress? While tied up? Would that please you?”
It would please me a hell of a lot more than I wanted to tell him. Rather than admit that, I quickened my movements, swirling my finger in faster circles around my clit, and replied as calmly as possible, “Mmm, yes… I think I could allow that. And you know, when one sense is removed, the others are so much more intense. Perhaps Mistress will blindfold you as well…”
“Oh, yes, Mistress,” Zac moaned. “I’d like that. No sight, no touching—surrounded by your voice, your smell, your taste…”
“Yes… exactly.”
He let out another loud moan. “I’d lap up every drop for you, Mistress.”
“Of course you would. I wouldn’t allow anything else.” In spite of my stern words, I let out a whimper.
For a moment, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Finally, Zac said, “I’d do anything to please you, anything to earn another taste, as much as you’ll give me.”
“Yes, I know you’ll do anything to please me… anything Mistress asks of you…”
“Oh, Mistress,” he moaned. “I want to feel you so bad…”
“Feel me?” I repeated, although I had a sinking feeling I knew exactly what he meant. The thought had me too close to the edge, closer than I even could have imagined. It was so, so wrong, in more ways than I even wanted to consider, to think about Zac burying his cock deep inside of me. I had to distract myself, I had to think of anything else, anything to keep from admitting how badly I wanted him to hold me down and fuck me senseless.
“Mhm,” he whimpered. “I know it’s bad, but…”
“Tell me,” I replied, faster than I would have liked. To regain some sense of control, however tenuous, I added, “I have to know how bad you are, don’t I?”
“Y-yes, Mistress,” he whimpered. “I want… I want to feel you—wrapped around me. I want to be buried inside you. I want to taste your mouth. I want to hear you scream.”
“My, my,” I gasped out, hoping to hide my true shock; it was everything I had imagined and more. “You are bad. And you think you deserve all that, hmm?”
“No, Mistress,” Zac replied, his voice dropping down lower. “I don’t think I do. But I want it. I want to earn it. Oh, Mistress…”
“You would have to be so good for Mistress to earn that,” I replied. And I had no doubt that he could be, contracts aside. There was no denying that I wanted this, and I wanted it badly. I could only hope he didn’t realize that I was doing more than just humoring him.
“I can do it, Mistress,” he practically whined. “I can be as good as you want me to be.”
“Can you?” I asked breathlessly. Deciding to push him, to see just how far he would take this, I asked, “What if Mistress wants to hear you scream?”
“Then… then I’ll scream for you,” he replied, his tone suggesting that he was only saying he thought I wanted to hear. During our first consultation, we had gone over a litany of items and practices we might incorporate into our sessions; he had seemed intrigued by the prospect of me wearing a strap-on, but ultimately had declined it. Still, I had a feeling he was more interested in it than he let on…
“Will you?” I asked. “Will you let Mistress feel you?”
“Oh, fuck,” he gasped out, and I was sure he followed my train of thought then.
“Mmm, but that might be too much of a reward for you…” I said teasingly.
His breath so heavy I could imagine how it would feel on my neck, Zac replied, “M-mistress… oh, god, if… if you want to…”
“If I want to what, Zac?” Yes, I was getting to him now; I was sure of it. I was under his skin just as much as he was under mine, and for the moment, I only wanted to enjoy that and not think about the implications.
“If… if you want to… to fuck me…” His voice was nearly inaudible, his soft whisper making me tremble with its vulnerability. “Then I have to let you. What Mistress wants, Mistress gets.”
I chuckled softly. “Oh, but I don’t think you would mind, if Mistress did want to fuck you.”
Zac let out a loud moan, and for a moment, I thought he was done, until he replied, “Fuck, Mistress. I want you to.”
“Fuck… of course you do…” I plunged a finger deep inside myself, not even kidding myself that I wasn’t pretending it was Zac’s hand touching me, making me feel this good.
“Would you rather fuck me, Mistress? Do you not want me to fuck you?”
That was a question he would be punished later for asking, I decided. It was pure evil. For the moment, though, all I could do was moan. Once I had composed myself, I replied, “I want you to be a good boy for Mistress. Show her that you can take it.”
He whimpered, and I decided that was my new favorite sound. “Y-yes, Mistress. I’ll take it for you. I’ll be a good boy, and take whatever you give me.”
“Would you suck Mistress’s cock?” My voice low and dripping with so much lust that even I could hear it.
“Oh, fuck, yes.”
“Show her just how talented that tongue is?”
“Yes, Mistress—fuck, I’ll suck it so good for you.”
“Mmm, I know you will,” I replied. “I know you can be a good boy for me. And if you’re very good, then Mistress will fuck you.”
Zac moaned loudly, the sound full of desperation. I wondered if he sang like that—did he sing? Was he just the drummer? I didn’t even know, but with a voice like that, it would be a crime not to sing.
I realized I knew next to nothing about this beautiful, broken boy. All I knew right then was that I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anyone else, and yet there was absolutely no way I could have him, not while I was billing him for these phone calls.
“Oh god, Mistress,” he moaned loudly, pulling me from my thoughts. “Do you want me to come for you?”
I trembled all over just at the thought of it. “Yes. Come for Mistress.”
He let out a string of curse words, and I tried to imagine how he must look–his long hair fanned out around his head, perhaps a little wet with perspiration, those muscles in his arms tensing as he worked himself into a frenzy, those gorgeous lips trembling… then he growled and I lost myself.
I let out a whimper of my own, and he must have sensed that his growl had an effect on me, because he did it again. I was certain this one was deliberate, but I didn’t care at all. I could practically feel it vibrating through my body, and that was all it took to push me completely over the edge. I fell back against my pillow with a dull thud, my entire body tingling to the point of numbness.
“Is someone trying to show off for his Mistress now?” I asked, the words coming out so breathlessly that I wasn’t sure he would understand what I had said at all.
“Maybe…” he panted. “Does… Mistress like it?”
“Perhaps… but let’s not worry what Mistress likes, hmm?”
“But then how will I know how best to please you?” Zac asked, and that urge to bend him over and take my flogger to him came flaring back up.
“Right now,” I breathed out. “Right now… Mistress would for you to be a good boy and not think about her like that again.”
Zac heaved a sigh. “Yes, Mistress.”
“Just remember,” I replied, “if you’re bad, you get punished. But if you’re good…”
“I understand, Mistress. I promise not to think about kissing Mistress’s neck… tasting the curve of her jaw… growling in her ear…” he said, punctuating the sentence with another of those perfect growls.
I cleared my throat loudly. “That’s more than enough.”
“Yes, Mistress,” Zac said, but I could hear the chuckle lurking beneath his words.
“Good boy. Now why don’t you get some sleep? You’ve got fans to please tomorrow, I’m sure.”
“Yes, Mistress.”
“Good boy.” I sighed. Where had this gone so wrong? Where had this gone from innocent fantasy, teasing that both myself and the client knew would never be acted upon… to something I wasn’t sure how I could go on living without?
The line was silent for a moment, and I wondered if Zac had hung up. Finally, almost inaudibly, I heard him say, “Lily?”
“Yes?”
“It’s good to hear your voice.”
“It’s good to hear your voice, too.” I sighed, wondering if he knew how true it was. I wasn’t sure if I hoped he did or didn’t; neither one would lead to anything good. I didn’t see any good way out of this mess we had gotten ourselves into.
“Sweet dreams, Mistress.” I noticed he had gone back to the title, and I didn’t know what to think of that. The way he said my name was… well, I didn’t know what it was. All I knew was that it did things to me that it shouldn’t.
All I could say in return was, “Sweet dreams, Zac.”