Nov. 19, 2013. Lynn Lane, Tulsa, OK.
Zac
Lily wasn’t what I expected at all; I had never had a real Domme before, so it wasn’t like I had much to base those expectations off of, but still. She was curious, almost nosy even, but I guessed it was just part of the deal. If you want to break something, or someone, it helps to know how it, or they, work first.
I tried to think about her and our first session, instead of the mess that was the rest of my life. Tay still hadn’t come home, and it had fallen on my shoulders to cover for him… again. As I sat on my couch listening to Nat cry on Kate’s shoulder, I so desperately wanted to rat him out. But I knew that would only make things worse, for everyone, so I kept my mouth shut and pretended I was tied to a bed halfway across town.
I could almost hear him calling out my hypocrisy. But, as I pointed out in my mental argument, there was a big difference between our situations. I wasn’t dating someone else; I was paying a professional for a service, and not even a sexual one. Well… at least I wasn’t having sex.
Anyway, Kate and I had always been open with each other about our relationship. It might not have been the healthiest in other areas, but we could at least say that much. We just didn’t feel the need to broadcast every little bump in the road the way Taylor and Natalie had. There was probably a moral in that somewhere, something about being open with the right people.
It was a couple days later when I was finally able to escape. The ladies had wine, ice cream and a stack of tear-jerker dvd’s, and I was all but shoved out the door. Suited my needs just fine, I decided, as I sped down the highway to meet my Mistress.
I found myself excited, almost giddy. Last time I’d been on my best behavior, testing the waters. This time I wanted to see how she handled me at my worst, or at least my not-best. Tay had told me once I was a difficult sub to work with. I wanted to see if Lily agreed.
“Good evening, Zac,” Lily said as she opened the door.
“Hey.”
“That’s not a very polite greeting, is it?” She raised an eyebrow, but I just shrugged and stepped past her. This was going to be fun. “Well then. We’re off to a fine start tonight, aren’t we?”
“What can I say? I’m in a good mood.” I dropped onto the couch, resisting the urge to put my feet up on the coffee table; I was misbehaving, not rude. She stood in front of me, hands on her hips.
“I was thinking we would actually get right down to business tonight. But I have a feeling you have plenty to tell me about how naughty you’ve been since the last time I saw you.”
I smirked wider, despite the slight pang I felt as I was reminded just why I needed this.
“Shall I rephrase that as a question then? Have you been behaving, Zac?”
“Nope.”
“I had a feeling you’d say that. Which rules have you broken?”
“Which one’s haven’t I broken?” I replied with a snort. I was getting to her, but she seemed to be handling herself well enough… for the moment.
“That’s not what I asked,” she said, her tone stern and her posture stiffening.
“Let’s see, what were they again?” I cocked my head and pretended to think for a moment, even though I knew perfectly well what they were. “Oh yeah. No hanging my head, no rolling my eyes, make eye contact… and no jerking off?” I paused to chuckle. “Yeah, I’d say that’s broken to bits.”
“Good to know,” she said, crossing her arms. “You’ve definitely earned what I’ve got planned for you, then.”
I grinned wider. Whatever she had in mind, I could take it, and gladly would.
“Let’s get right to it, then.” She turned and led the way to the play room. Just to top things off, I started whistling as we walked down the hall. “No whistling,” she said over her shoulder.
I chuckled before I could stop myself.
“I’m sorry,” she said, spinning to face me, “did I say something funny?”
I felt my smirk falter for a second. So she really did mean business after all.
“That’s better.” She turned and walked the rest of the way, opening the door to the play room. The setup was different this time, a drop cloth over the bed and a small table beside it, with a lighter and a few different-colored candles.
“Have you played with wax before, Zac?” She asked, and I could hear the smirk in her voice.
“No ma’am.”
“Good. I was hoping it would be something new for you.” She stepped into the room and over to the bed. “You can keep your underwear on this time, but everything else needs to come off. Then lay down on your back.”
I nodded and stripped down, taking my time. This was something I hadn’t expected, and it had me excited, but a little nervous, too. I lay down and watched as she lit a few of the candles.
“Now, this is definitely going to hurt. But I think we can agree that you’ve earned it, yes?”
“Yes ma’am,” I said in an overly saccharine tone. She glared at me for a second, then picked up a lit candle and began eyeing my body. I must’ve looked nervous, because when she looked at my face her own expression softened a bit.
“And of course, feel free to use the safe word if you need to. But I think you’ll be fine.”
I gave a smug grin, wanting to look brave and push another button or two. It worked, judging by the eyebrow she raised as she slowly tipped the candle over. A few drops of bright pink wax fell onto my chest, the heat stinging sharply as soon as it hit my skin and making me hiss.
“Fuck!”
“Did you forget another rule?” She said as she smirked down at me. “No speaking unless you’re spoken to.”
“Yes’m,” I replied through gritted teeth.
“That’s better.” She smiled as she moved the candle down my torso, letting a few more drops fall. I tensed up, and felt a low growl rumble through my chest. I glanced up to see if she’d heard. She had.
“Now Zac… you know you shouldn’t break the rules if you can’t handle the punishment.” A few more drops of wax hit my chest, this time dangerously close to one nipple. I tensed up further, but managed to stay silent as she treated my other side the same. “And you’ve certainly been bad, haven’t you? Haven’t had a single pleasant thing to say since you got here, that’s for sure.”
“No ma’am.”
“And you were bad before you got here, too, weren’t you?” She moved the candle again, lower this time.
“You know me.” I eyed her, curious how she’d respond to that.
“Do I?” A sting of pain hit my abs as she stared at me, one eyebrow gracefully arched.
“Y-yes, ma’am. I mean… I was bad.”
She grinned at that, and let more wax fall around my stomach. “How bad were you?”
I swallowed hard, and closed my eyes. In the past few days, I’d been forced to listen to Natalie whine and cry about how she was ‘losing Taylor’. As if she ever really had him to begin with, but that was a whole different story that was frankly none of my business. But of course, hearing his name every five seconds didn’t exactly help my mental state, either.
“Very.”
“Thinking about that person again?” This time, I felt the heat near the patch of hair beneath my abs, just at the waistband of my boxers. I sucked in my stomach, breathing a little more shallow.
“Y-yes ma’am.”
“Now, you knew that would earn you a punishment… just couldn’t resist, though, could you?”
I could only shake my head at that, torn between focusing on the pooling heat and on the thoughts I was trying to fight off.
“That’s what I figured. Not nearly as well behaved as you seemed at first, hmm?” Thankfully she moved the candle back up my torso, and I let out a slight sigh of relief.
“L-looks can be deceiving,” I said, trying to regain my composure. I was getting used to the heat now, and I had to admit, the pain was giving way to something else.
“Indeed they can.” Again she let the wax fall on my chest; I licked my lips and let my eyes fall half-closed. The warmth was spreading through my body now, and I found it easier to push thoughts of Taylor aside. I watched as Lily grinned and picked up a new candle; this one was a little hotter than the last, and I moaned despite myself as the first drops hit my already sensitive skin.
“You know, I might have gone a little easier on you, but I really don’t care for your attitude with me tonight…” More wax fell onto my abs, and I moaned again, arching my back slightly. Taylor was suddenly the furthest thing from my mind.
“Yes… ma’am.”
“And it certainly sounds like you’ve been very naughty… Just how much have you been thinking about that person?
I sighed, reluctant to think about it more. “A lot.”
“Define a lot.”
I looked away; it was another rule-break, I knew, but I didn’t want to ruin the moment. But when I felt a drop of searing heat directly on my nipple, I winced.
“How much, Zac?”
“Just… a lot. All the time,” I said quietly.
“I see… Well, we can’t have that, can we? Fantasizing about them all the time… touching yourself, I’m sure…”
I gave a tiny nod of confirmation.
“I suppose I didn’t make that entirely clear. No touching yourself. Do you think you can do that for me? Absolutely no jerking off.”
I hesitated… that was asking a lot, especially for me. I’d always had an overcharged sex drive; asking me not to jerk off would be like chaining a racehorse’s feet to the floor.
“Answer me,” she demanded, dripping more wax on my abs.
“Like…” I paused, looking up a her. “At all at all?”
“Did I still not make myself clear enough?”
“Sorry… I’ll try, ma’am.” And I would, although I made no promises.
“That’s better,” she said with a smirk. “We’ll just have to keep punishing you if you keep breaking that rule, won’t we?”
“Yes ma’am.”
She switched out candles again, this time the heat ramping up a few more degrees. I tried not to make a sound, but a wave of pleasure rippled through me from the point of impact.
“And I certainly won’t tolerate this attitude problem.”
“Yes ma’am. I’m sorry ma’am.”
“Good. You should be.” She lazily trailed the candle up and down my body for a while. I clenched my fists, but couldn’t help moaning; she didn’t seem to mind, though, only giving a tiny smile now and then.
“You’re taking your punishment very well, though,” She said after a few minutes of silence, trailing the wax across one nipple.
“I deserve it.”
“You’ve certainly earned it…”
“Yes ma’m,” I answered, my tone coming out a lot more somber than I’d intended. She let out a soft sigh, letting a few more drips fall, then setting the candle aside.
“I think you handled that punishment very well.” She trailed her hand across the cooling wax, and I felt a shiver. “But as good as all this wax looks on you, we can’t very well leave it there, can we?” She gave a tiny smirk that made me even more nervous, for some reason.
“N-no…”
She picked up a knife from the table, long and slender, with a black handle. My eyes went wide, and a grin spread across her lips.
“Now, don’t worry. I’m just going to scrape the wax off. You do need to hold very still though, okay?”
“Yes ma’am,” I said, nodding.
“Good.” She sat on the edge of the bed, holding the knife steady and lightly dragging it across my chest. I shivered at the contact; the blade was cold, practically freezing compared to the heat my skin had gotten used to. She dragged the knife lower, scraping off more wax. My eyes darted up to her face in time to see her lower lip caught between her teeth. The combination of physical sensations and the expression on her face made me moan softly. Her lips curled into a smirk as she moved down over my abs, removing the last traces of wax. I couldn’t help moaning again as I felt the barest scrape of metal on skin.
“There we are then. Very good.” She ran a hand over my chest; I sighed and closed my eyes, her touch soothing. “Attitude problem aside, you did very good tonight.”
“Mhm.” After all being exposed to so many extremes, her gentle caress was taking my already keyed-up body to another level.
“Looks certainly can be deceiving,” she said, tracing her fingers over the nearly invisible pattern on my chest. “Although I’m not sure why a tattoo surprises me, with… everything else I know about you.”
I cocked an eyebrow up at her.
“I mean, I suppose it makes sense from a… pain standpoint. But you do look fairly clean cut otherwise.”
“Kinda have to be,” I replied, shrugging. “Image is kinda important for my job.” Truthfully there were plenty of fans with tattoos, but we still tried to keep a certain family friendly, non-offensive image. I thought it was pretty dumb, considering the average age of our audience, but I was outnumbered in that.
“Image is important for a lot of jobs. You can get dressed now if you’d like. No hurry to do anything.”
“I’m fine,” I said with a shrug. “If you don’t mind.”
“Not at all. Your comfort is important right now, you know.” She sat back on the bed next to me.
“Thanks. My last Dom…” I looked away. Lily just had a way of making me feel at ease; I felt like I could be open with her, in more ways than just my lack of clothes. It was actually kind of strange, being so comfortable nearly-naked with a stranger, when I hated being even shirtless around my own family. But as comfortable as she made me feel, that didn’t make talking about what I’d been through any easier.
“You can talk about him if you’d like. Whatever you feel comfortable saying.”
“He… he wasn’t used to being a Dom.”
“I see. It’s a difficult role to take on if it’s not your… natural inclination.”
“He was… is… total sub. I mean total sub; he’s got the whole mentality. Really needs it, you know?”
“Yes, I know,” she said, raising an eyebrow. I smirked, wondering if she thought the same about me. I wasn’t like Taylor, though. Sure, I loved the pain, and I felt like I needed to be punished for things I’d said, done and imagined, but I’d never been as… submissive, I guess really was the best word for it.
“It’s certainly helpful to understand things from both sides,” she went on. “Many Doms will tell you they’d never do something to their sub that they haven’t had done to themselves first. It’s a good precaution to take, to really understand both sides. But some people… can’t handle it so well. Doesn’t make either type of person better or worse.”
I nodded, mulling over what she’d said. “Course it didn’t help that his Dom was in on it.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Yeah… he wanted, um… my Dom, to be more… dom, I guess. To me, I mean. Gave him orders to punish me.”
“I see,” she said again, her eyes widening in surprise. “But your Dom didn’t really want to be?”
“I… I don’t know.” I frowned, trying to choose my words so that they would explain everything, without giving away everything. “He was really hard to read; he’d seem totally into it one minute, then reluctant the next.”
“I’m sure it was a difficult role for him. Especially being a dual role like that.”
“Yeah, I guess…”
“Of course,” she said, softer, “I’m sure it wasn’t a pleasant position for you to be in, either.”
I let my head fall, powerless to stop the memories from flickering behind my closed eyes. I heard her clear her throat as she lifted my chin.
“Sorry,” I mumbled.
“It’s alright,” she said with a smile. “I won’t count that one against you.”
“After that, things got… complicated.”
“Sounds like it.” She nodded, and ran her fingers through my hair gently. I leaned into her touch, feeling myself start to purr a little; I saw her eyebrow arch slightly, but she didn’t say anything.
“Um, anyway,” I started, clearing my throat. “Yeah. It got kinda heavy, so I got out.”
“Sounds like that was for the best.”
“Yeah…” I’d told myself that same thing hundreds, maybe thousands of times. But somehow, hearing her say it made me feel just a little better.
“BDSM relationships can certainly be healthy. But it requires trust and understanding.”
“I know,” I sighed. “Him and his…” I didn’t want to say the word ‘boyfriend’, even as accurate as that probably was. “Well, they have this 24/7 thing… Seems to make him happy.” And that was the hardest part, probably. He genuinely did seem happy, more than he had been in the past few years. It was hard to accept, but… maybe he and Scott were the real thing after all.
“The 24/7 thing is a good arrangement for some people. But it’s not for everyone.”
“I don’t think I could do that.” I let out a snort of laughter. “No one would want to put up with me that long.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” she said, letting out a light, almost musical laugh. “I think you could be trained quite well.”
I cocked an eyebrow, smirking. Somehow, the thought of her ‘training’ me wasn’t all that bad.
“Everyone has a breaking point,” she continued. It’s just a matter of finding it.”
“Haven’t found mine yet.”
“I suppose that’s something we’ll have to work on, then.”
“Good.” I let my smile fall away for a moment. “I want to find my limits; I want to push them.”
“I can certainly help you with that. I take safety very seriously, but I’ll push you.”
“I haven’t found anyone yet who’s been willing to try. That’s why I wanted a regular Domme, someone who wouldn’t be afraid to go there.”
“You don’t have to worry about me being afraid,” she said with a coy smile.
“Good.” I glanced over at the table, candles still flickering, casting their light on the blade of the knife. I reached out and brushed my fingers against the cold metal for a moment. “Maybe next time we skip the candles, and start with this?”
“I think we can certainly do that.”